~reJocing WitH YoU~

2009-04-23T02:06:00.001+08:00

(Blog moved!!!)

www.yuanling-a-life-without-perfection.blogspot.com

2009-04-20T09:02:00.002+08:00

(what am i doing..?)

While people is busying schooling / working at this point of time... what am i doing?

I have been doing nothing to generate my income. It has been 2 months since i have been doing nothing.

I don't wished and never wished to be a loafer.

2009-04-19T06:10:00.002+08:00

(Jia Ming's POP- aka passing out parade)

Yea.. sorry for the extremely late post. Anyway, Jia Ming 's POP was nice. Haha... Especially the uniform he wore.. OH my GOD! Handsome!! Haha... Me , francis and pei ying was there for his promotion.

The last thing i remembered was his tank mate was stucked in the tank when they was supposed to come down and fall in. Yea.. ended up the last team to form up. But nevertheless, they are still as cool as they are. Haha...

I didn't get to eat the egg tarts!!!!! Sad!! >.< haha... However, nothing is more sad than having a painful and sore pair of foot due to my high heels. Ouch! Got one nice aunty still offer me her plaster sio. Hehe... God Bless.
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I going to move my blog soon woh... haha... keep a look out. ^^

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(Pei ying's birthday)

This year was a special day for her. Because no wishes ( even though she still have it), no cakes, no celebrations... but still, me and francis and everyone are still there for her.

When to J8. Francis bought her a ....what's that bag again? haha... short term memory. Guess is aidias bag? A red one. Suppose to be a crumpler bag. But run out of stock!

Muhaha....blessing in disguise. Why?

Cause francis bought me a necklace and a pair of ear rings!!!! Hehe... Love it sio. A heart necklace and a starry ear rings. :P So sweet of him. Haha.. Pei ying bought her shares too.

Went to buy XXL chicken as snack. Bought 3 bottles of volka. Mine is the cherry. On francis's house. Haha... Taste like medicine sio.

Guess i wasn't good enough to be drunk. I didn't know i can be eating tissue papers, biting and licking pei ying's hand and somewhere =censored= been squeeze by... *cough cough...=censored=
Haha... you know who. XD

Oh...... better stick to my plain water. XD

2009-04-16T01:04:00.002+08:00

(NOTICE!!!!!)

Cellgroup Outing!!!

N284 & N444 BBQ!!

Date: 17 Apr 2009(fri)
Place: East coast
Purpose: BBQ of course... Yummy!! :P
Time of commence: 4pm

If anyone is interested, please contact thru my hp. :P (those who i know and you know me..)

===========================================================

(Practising in progress...)

Hang out at tpy 237 again. LoL... doing nothing but chat. ok. T.T

Anyway, here's a couple of songs i am going to practice(Guitar) now before I upload it to youtube.(Maybe). XD

Songs for Guitar :

David cook - Always be my baby.
Leona Lewis- Bleeding Love.
Howie Day- Collide.
Elliot Yamin- Wait for you.
Westlife - If your heart's not in.

hmm... Yep. That's all for the moment. Just realised that all are love songs.. XD

Err..... hmm...Guess i need more love. LOL!!! Just joking. XD

That's all! ^^

2009-04-15T02:51:00.000+08:00

(Today at francis house..)

Meet up with James at 12pm at traffic light. Actually is 11am. But i am too tired. So postponed to 12pm. Afterwhich, we sent to tpy central koufu to order a take away original fried rice for Francis.
Bought a 1000 lemon for myself. Can't remembered what James bought. Haha...

Anyway, our main purpose for today was video recording for James mv on the youtube. Titled: I'm Yours (cover) cum freestyle [Song by Jason Mraz].. Yea yea. He took lots of NGs. While he took the videos in francis' room, I was using francis lappy to upload my pics. Muahahhahah.... :P
Well, the video turned up to be just as good. But due to time constraits, James only uploaded to his blog. Haha... Will put it here onces it's done. Pei ying joined in at a later time.

Ate quite a few packet of biscuits and secretly drank py's soya drink without her notice. Muahha... ok. She noticed anyway. XD
Got a choco crunch from francis.. Hehe..

Learnt the strumming of ''I'm Yours'' from James just today. WOOT! Guess i will took a slower version of that song. (Maybe). XD. But i kinda have difficulties singing and strumming at the same time. I know i off the beat l-ah... hahaha.

Gonna go... very tired sio!

2009-04-14T14:53:00.002+08:00

(Introducing.....)

Me and James ! WOoT! Future guitarist n cg leader. Muahhaa!

FrANCIS the cha bo! *at the back. The 1 tt look like gal. XD

Me and Pei xuan! Future cg leader! Haha...

Pei Ying and mE! Haha... my ''grand daughter''.

Ok... kinda nothing to do.. so.. hehe... Enjoy! ^^

2009-04-14T13:51:00.011+08:00

(Pictures time!!)

WooT! Guess you guys are dying to see my pictures bah!(*self high~) keke... Muhahhaa.. nevertheless... here it goes!

(Me and Tang mei-mabel during the makeover session) ^^

Hehe... kinda err... somehow.. i preferred not to make up? XD For some reason, px say my mouth look like annabel soh( chc lead vocal). Got meh? XD But look like her.. i don't mind. haha..

Sentosa Trip flashback~~ WooT!

Ok! Here's some random pics! ^^ Special credits To: px, py, francis, james and me.. XD

That's all fokes! haha...

2009-04-14T02:27:00.003+08:00

(My regrets)

Each person have their stories about what they regret in life...

Big or small regrets.... Those regrets that you concern now or no longer concern...

And for me, my biggest regrets in life are perphaps not losing oneself or friends but was that i didn't really spend much time with my dad when he was alive. What am i busy during that time? With friends? Studying? Playing? Sleeping? It's always when situation happened , and than you realised that.. you didn't really play your part well afterall.

People tend to proclaim that they spent them with their parents etc.... But do they really do?

Came across zi qiang blog... i am very touched by how he really sat down and really spent his time with his mum. Even if it's just a dinner. And for my case.... when is the time my whole family really sat down and have a proper dinner?

It's chinese new year eve dinner. And i am rushing off to my friend's house.

Regrets....

Yep. Still can remembered where am i when my dad is trying to find me and talk to me before the day he was passed away. I was at braddell mac studying till 4am with my friends.

Did i had time with him? No. All this i know it's only when he passed away... my grandmother told me. If i can reverse the time, i wanted to spend my remaining time with him. Or exchange the time of his death with him.

How can i don't blame myself??
I hate myself actually......

Can remembered how he struggled in his bed for so long just waited for me to come back to school and wanted me to see him for the last time. Can remembered how he cried even more when i wiped off the tears off his eyes....

So.... treasured those who are still around you. Do what you can and you will never regret like me.

God knows how hurted my heart it is now..... I need lots of healing.

2009-04-13T02:51:00.005+08:00

(Great week ahead!! haha...)

WoW!! another week had passed, i was so busy with many many wonderful activities. Easter service was GREAT! The church was so packed with people that i have to share seats with my friend. That's a great thing. Cause that means the church is expanding and more and more people is opening up to the Lord. AMen!! Blessed is the people who have com forth to the God. ^^

Special
Thanks to: -Pei ying for your Easter paper eGG! haha... SO sweet of you!! May our friendship
last Eternally!! Love you too!
-James for your Easter EgG...haha.. i know you spent your night doing this.
Thanks! I love it! Appreciated ThaT!! haha...Love you mine friend!
- Francis for coming down despite his tiredness after his congee selling! Love you frz!
- Zhenghe, li ming and jun long for coming down orh!! hehe ^^ Love u all!!!

I am really very happy. Because i didn't expected that my friends will actually turn up. With the ernest prayers * secretly..hehe .. . me and james managed to gather 5 of our secondary school friends to come. *wink wink! God bless!! haha...

Anyway.. i still can recalled that when i wasn't a believer... i didn't have any emotion when the drama came to a part where how the roman soliders whip and mock JEsus.

But after i have received christ, came to the moment of that.... my tears just dropped. It's a very automatic thing. I can understand how much pain and suffering he had gone through for us. I was really very touched. Of course, this reminds me how my life was saved with a price by his sacrifies.

And definitely.. my love has grown with him. Amen!. ^^ Even though my dad just passed away not long ago...i will loved my father and heavenly father both forever.

Serving happily in the house of lord with my cg and friends. Was really a great blessing ! Yet to receive my tongues. Ernestly praying for that. And my target---> tAtA!!! cg guitarisT!! haha....

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Hanging out with friends just now. Went out at 3pm.. went home at 1am. WooT!

Playing guitar with james and peiying as background...francis as... noise. Haha..
Pei xuan joined us at a later time.

Found out that pei xuan really can sychronize with me. Wahahhh.....So we just spent our time taking pictures, videos and songs recording. Singing songs of worship and praise. Hehe...and of course anyhow mixed songs too!

That's what friends are for. Indeed! You no need to have an extravagance activities to have fun. Just some singing and chit chating(catching up) will do the trick!! Haha...

Enjoyed my life been with them.
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yesterday went stalking at .... err... dunno where.... but was quite a good exprience with francis n pei ying. Muhahha...

ok T.T

gonna go! Woot!

2009-04-08T22:45:00.002+08:00

(laughter , fatigue & sadness)

Yum yum... *chewing fish bone... haha. That's my supper anyway. Yep. This week was a week of fun, joy, tiredness, sadness but fruitful week. Yes. Why do i said so? Well, i have been busying preparing my appeal letters to various polytechnics, busying visiting polys and my teachers for testimonials and sending applications.

Well... I already did my very best. So does my friend , tai guan. We when to rp and nyp. And what we got was a reply : mail in. Nevertheless, we didn't gave up.

Mass sent all the emails to the polys. Gotten some replies. And i scolded rp today. LOL....err... Sounds abit bad but i scolded them not to sent me a auto generated message for that. But well... I am seriously looking for a poly. So... Yea.

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(outings)

Too much outing 2 named. Today , we went to sentosa for the last trip due 2 py. haha... she's going 2 study.. so.. ya.

Anyway, i got myself tanned. Will upload the pics next time.
And my skins hurts now... >.<
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(relationship)

ok. Will i regret if i gave up in batching back?

-i will.

So will i be batching with him?
- no idea. i really like/love him alot but will i be back with a guy that once said me that i am with him because of his money? And once said that will my brother sickness spread to him? And my family background?--> because we are not wealthy?

All of this are the things he said 2 me when we are together.

But i can assure you that, whatever decisions i have made....

there will be pain.

2009-04-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

(History repeated itself again...)

Yes... you see that. And you heard that too. Yes. I gotten my results today. Was kinda mixed up feeling in me.

I was kinda looking forward to today. Cause i worked very hard for it. In fact, i woke up at 9am to check my hp. Nope. Yet to received..... and till 10am, i was awoken by the message tone. And because of the message, it actually spoilt my whole entire day. Yea.

got ''D''s for both accounts and audit. -.-'' what the...

If you would asked me how do i feel now.... I am very depress. Because i heard people constantly told me.... it's very hard for me to go poly.

I know myself well enough. So you guys no need to repeat!! OK!? *rubbish...

Everything need to wait till friday.
Right now .... haiz.... Like i said.... history repeated itself again. Like O-levels.

but nevertheless, james and zi qiang encouraged me . Especially zi qiang. He really encouraged me alot.

Like what he told me in the message: You must say to this failure -->''So what! I can do better next time by the power of the holy spirit. God is with me!! Jia you!!''

Goshhh.. i felt so encouraged. anyway, the message is too long... i lazy to type all out.haha...
But really appreciated for what he had done. Yep. Really very fortunated to have friends like them.
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I was wondering if i am going to pray in tongues tis friday....

Not doubting... but what if i can't said a single word out of my mouth after they prayed for me?
err...

I am kinda....nervous.... and.....

I don't know.

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Just now after prayer meeting, James asked me..

James: ''What do i do when everyone is praying in tongues?''...

Me: '' Talking to GOD lor....''

James: ''In what language?''

Me: '' English lor..''

James: '' People asked you to pray in tongues , you talk in english....'' -.-'' ---> he meant it in a joking way of course...

Haha... yea. Kinda abit don't know what to do when everyone speaks/prayed in tongues and i am the only one who haven't receive the gift. Gezz....
And my prayer between pei xuan wasn't good... as in.. when it's my turn to pray... i ...kinda... just follow the script. .. haiz...

I have to talk more to my dear God more and more now.....

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2009-03-31T02:39:00.003+08:00

(It's been...1month 25 days.. since you passed away)

Almost forgotten to tag about sunday event.

When to sweep ah gong.. and your grave. I bought you a beautiful purple flower.
Do you like it?

I have been watching you awhile since you leave me...

Maybe i am feeling very alone now....
Only if i could be strong, and say only the words i feel....

Am I pretending to be happy now?

Or just that i have lost my sense of purpose to smile again?

2009-03-31T00:15:00.003+08:00

I am so sick with my flu and slight fever. Anywae.. here's a very long post by me as i sitting right infront of my desktop ... hungrily....T.T

(God's vision and advise to me)

It has been quite sometime since i dreamt about speaking in tongues. I remembered vividly that i saw a bible and i know that's the tongues (in words- highlighted in red) that i am going to speak. And recently, I dreamt about tongues again! I recalled that i am singing in tongues! Woot! The atmostphere was so GREAT! But and again... in real life situation... i can't. >.<

( Friendship)
Yep. Pei xuan asked me on "what do in look for in a friendship?" "And how does one qualifies?" "and what are the categories?"...

Very interesting... Out of no where(out of the blue moon)... she had choosen to ask me...

AND HERE! i shall answer to her and everyone's question.
*But....each and everyone got there own opinion. And here's mine.

According to order -----> ''9'' is the best of course!! hehe... :p~
=============Category of FRIENDS=============
1)Strangers.
2)Acquaintance.
3)Hi- bye friends.
4) WINE MEAT FRIENDS. ( as in those ''party friends'')
4)Normal friends.
5)Good friends.
6)Best friends.
7)Closed friends.
8)Special friends.
-Buddies. Or to be stead.
9)Boyfriend/Girlfriends.
Yep. so that's my categories. Hehe....
ok. Let me elaborate.

1st question : What do I look in a friendship?
Answer:

*cough cough....It's been a era since people questioned me on this. And i think it's really good for people like us to ponder on this question. LOL... *hmm... Ok. I don't really fame people of their riches, fames, cards, or how big their family businesses are in order to make friends. I don't even care if they are rich or living in proverty .

What i really care... and do care. ... is a heart. A geniune heart of theirs.

Well? seems simple? Haha.... Take note that in this wealth looking forward society and corrupted environment, it's a totally deadly combination. It's hard to come across people with geniune hearts now.

Are you a person with a geniune heart? And how do you treat people? Ahh.... this will determine your action etc... it's all from your heart( & mind). With the geniune way of treating people..thus shall all seems good.

2nd question: How does one qualifies?
Answer: * refer to above. Haha.... it's the same lah.

Anyway...I always believed that friends are hard to come by. Especially those of yours whom have been through lots of hardship , thick and thin together. Yes. Never doubt what your friends had or what you are in them. You MUST have the faith.

Hebrews 11: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

understand? ^^

The group above that i had mention is actually a emotional cum mentality grade that exist in everyone. Eg: "Today i don't understand you... i feel that you are a stranger to me." " ah... you are so nice.. perphaps we shall be together. " ---> abit lame. Ya.. -.-" get my point here?

Normally, You will find or feel bias when between friends to friends. You will think..."why is not you? Why are you treating me this way? Why why why why why...?" I gonna tell you... when anger cum jealousy starts to rule over your head.. that's when silly and childish things(not say you childish hor..i saying myself) come by. Why somethings he/she didn't buy things for you instead of her because of situation. SITUATION. yes.
Once again..... Look carefully...

Hebrews 11: "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Yes. You must have faith in us. Doesn't mean that we have to show out to everyone how much really care for each other. Not everything is done through surface work. That are times that we have to use inner feeling, acceptance etc.

It doesn't matter where you stand in your friends heart. Be it 1st, 2nd or last...and you know what, i don't care even if you are 1st or last... what i care is.. you are the friend that i am gonna treasure for life. ^^ *understand?
--> don't cry. I know it's very touching. LOL..

zzz.... what a long post.

(Relationship)
I don't really understand aik keong. He seems like telling everything and single thing to his junior. I mean... it's between us. And it's like we are not going to be married.. why he had to talk to his parents? Funny? Haha.. i don't get it also.

Mind you... I am still single for your information.

I don't get it what he is trying to do. I already move on liao. Why is he still think whether the answer is a "YES" or "NO" to batch back? -.-" Why must he waited till i really given up and he think about this?

And because of this... he lost one friendship himself. I have no comments. -.-"

Even though i used to be in loved with him after break up.... i told myself.. it's enough for me to do so much for him since he don't appreciated.

Anyway.. i prayed. And... yep. you guys should know the answer i guys. LOL.

2009-03-26T19:49:00.003+08:00

(hey pips!)
Yes! I am back to blog again. With whole lotsa fun and of course.... *emo. hehe... But anywae.. so sorry for my childish act recently. I know i have let lots of you worried. Too emotional. T.T hehe.. so sorry.

Have been reflecting on what i have said and done this few weeks down. Yep. Disappointment of course. Having a hard time to arrange my feelings and stuff.. Got really mixed up and confused. Irritated and annoyed. Nevertheless, even with my most annoying anger outburst attitude, my friends are still able to tolerate me. Oh man.. yep. So Sorry again.

Attended the sunday service with pei ying last week. Was really a amazing one. The service talks about (relationship- with wife & husbands[can apply to friendships etc]). Yep. The words that Pastor Kong mention really wakes me up. It taught us about disrespectful demands, anger outburst especially and lots more.

And... the reason why anger outburst happens to people like me is because "you wanna punish someone because you suffered injustic and you want to punish that person the way you had suffered."

So i prayed that the childishness of me shall take away from me. **wink wink. ^^

Went to beach with py , james , francis and kelvin. Yea. Hoho. Interesting Sec 1 boy. Unlike those who hang around with there cliche*i think .. Yep.. unlike those of his age hang around scolding bad words etc... he is a very obiedent boy. Great future ahead woh. Haha...

Of course, we went there some sea breeze. And you know whAT? FRANCIS said that jellyfish glown in the water. Yea. And me and James saw that!! And you know... instead of jellyfish.. we saw a red pail that's reflecting the lights only. -.-"

+=====================+Clubbing+========================+

WoW..... yesterday was a great night. Went to puhture with pei ying and pei xuan. But Jen n james wasn't there. Ohhh.... wat a pity. Nevertheless, we three gals really enjoyed ourselves very much. WoohOo! That's what i call *Girls POWER! hehe.. We were so madly into the dance and we manage to attact lots of attention. Yes. If you understand... is *GUYS attention. And annoying guys of course. One guy even used his... *coughcough to poke my backside!! Agrhh! I ended up dancing elbow dance with py. Elbowing those irritating people. .. >.< haha. Serve them right. We had apple vodka too. Hehe... surprisingly.. i wasn't drunk. XD

Went to zouk for a break too. Realized that zouk became abit.. hmm... different than i was there last time. People there seems to dance parapara. hmm... ok. Like what James describe in the dance. Eg "one more time.." *the people will like point the finger and sing "one more time." -.-" ok.

Let's hang out there again! wooT.
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Fun with friends

2009-03-01T19:18:00.003+08:00

Dad... today is your 26th day ever since you past away.....

I missed you alot.
I can still remembered very clearly the day you are struggling on the bed. Very clear. . .
Everything seems to happen just the day before.
It's impossible for me to forget. Do you like the ''cha quek tiao''(carrot cake)?
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27/2/09

After school... I met up with pei ying and francis after their run at bishan bus interchange. Yep. After which, we went to py house . Wow....while i am slacking in the living room, py and francis was preparing soba noodles in the kitchen. OMG!!! I have to tell you. That was heavenly. The soba noddles was so GREAT! You don't have to add anything to it. Just the noddles and the soba sauce as base and everything was perfect! A little seaweed as garnishing would be good. Gosshhh... I am still drooling when i recalled the aroma and delicious soba.

Hehe... after that meal... we get ourselves prepared for RICE MASK!. (from THE FACESHOP). It's a peel off mask whereby.. yea... dries up and just peel off. Cooling effect. ^^ Pei ying helps us apply that. ^^ =====>will post the pics soon.

Every enjoyable at py house ended at 2.30pm. And of course.. next stop--> my house. Have to bathe and get ready for my SC graduation night. Pei ying was my make up artist for that day. And francis? Breathing in the deadly moisture in my room. XD.. haha.

Anyway... i left the event earlier. Due to boring. Haha......Oh well... after getting my letter of appreciation of course. And alvin drove me back.
======================
28/2/09

Woke up around 7am . Went for audition for the channel 8 ( Bioskin) programme. Well... hopefully i can get in. Because.... yea... my figure ..XD

Met up francis at the tpy arcade. Joined pei ying after her hair was done. Yea. She went for a second hair cut again. Hmm.... hehe....

Jia ming joined us after that. Than we sat down at px house area. Playing the music game. LOL... whereby have someone to sing a random song from the mp4 and the rest have to guess the title of the song. -.-'' haha.. ok. But it was fun. We get to eat 1 gummy bear when we guess correctly. XD.... James joined us at a later time. haha....

That's about it. Ciaos...

-Honor to parents-

2009-02-23T18:57:00.002+08:00

(Honor to parents)
From NKJV I Peter 1.13-1.16

1:13
Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ;
1:14
As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance:
1:15
But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;
1:16
Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

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For i have seek the lord... i will obey him. And of course.... this is to honor to my dad who i believed he is in heaven now and my mum.

How silly i am for me to make mistakes and sin against myself......
For now... i shall do things in your name my heavenly father and my parents ...and of course do the things i can for you.

Freedom soon

2009-02-23T18:16:00.003+08:00

Oh... recently went to bradell mac to study with james,francis, py... . sigh... going to have my final exams in two weeks time. Nevermind. Graduating soon anyway. haha

This friday is my sc graduation night. Theme: English couples. -.-" ok. What should i wear? I have no idea.

Since my dad passed away... i have realised and learnt lots of things from it. There are friends who are always there for you and there are some who always said they are your friend but when you really need a support... they are gone. ..

REally appreciated those who are there for me. Thanks.

That's all. Gonna study liao. Bye.

A sense of lost....

2009-02-13T21:38:00.000+08:00

dad...i missed you badly...so does mum n bro.
Your memories will be part of us forever.

-Blessed those who are sincere and true.
-Cursed those who are fake , backstabber, cheater, liar , troublemaker to you.

I hardly could sleep.

I just think about you...

Think about how you tell me how great you were...how you provide me solutions to problems....how you wanna give us a stable living...

But you are gone now....

And what's left are those who are trying to harm us...Trying to take something from us. Expecting something from us....
They are such a asshole. Just fake asshole.

Did you come back and visit us? I stood awake till 3-4am just waiting for you to come back....but i can't see you. You promised to take good care of us...

Where are you...?

.....
===================================================================
Yesterday went for dinner with alvin after the interact club rehersal. Went to botak jones. On his house of course. ^^. Ordered black pepper chicken with chessy potato, fish and chips? and a side dish (fish etc). It's my 1st time eating that. So nice of him.. ^^
Enjoyed it very much.
===================================================================
Today went for medical check up with the accompany of pei ying and james. Did a full blood unit test, urine test, body check up and X-ray. Ahh.... kinda akward.. because i had to remove my bra and wear a coat. -.-" yea... and the doctor was a MALE!!! Goshh.... because i am abit shy.... yea...the doctor said i am cute. -.-" kinda more shy in that case.

That's all about it...

If you were me

2009-02-01T14:58:00.004+08:00

If you were me....

Will you choose...

1) to agree an operation that has only a success rate of 2%? A extreme high risk operation? Once a vein in the lungs break, the patient will be gone forever?

2) not to operation. Just wait till the time come?

My dad was diagnosed of cancer. A tumor in the lungs. Can't be cured. Doctor said that if he is suffering from 1st & 2nd stage, he can go through radiotherapy. But the tumor will be back after awhile. It just stop for the time being. And it's a extremely painful process. The patient itself must be able to take the process. If not, the patient will be in danger also.

Doctor told us to look on the bright side. And get prepared.

If it's the 3rd stage, it's operation. But we can choose to operate or not to. However, doctor can't remove the tumor totally. Cause it's inwards tumor. success rate = 2%
Today woke up and cook fried rice and bought to hospital(together with my brother) for my mum to eat.

She seems depress....so does everyone.
But my dad gave me a smile. I guess he knew it .......

..
Doctor told her today that...
My dad left 2-6 months life span.

2-6months....

No medication can cure him.

What can we do for him?

I saw him i feel like crying.... but my uncle told us not to show our feelings out. Let him be happy during this time. I pray & beg to the lord ...that my dad's sickness and illness will be taken away. All the negative will be gone. Heal all his diseases. And brother pray together with me.

Everyone is worried. My uncle said... "All doctors are the same. Don't know how to cure say no cure."

Everyone is doing what they can...

My grandma visit my dad everyday....she's praying for him too...
My uncle is searching for medication.....
My mum accompany my dad every seconds ,from morning till night, everyday, every moment.
Me and my Bro taking care of the house, praying.... cooking etc.
Some of my friends praying for us too.

I really appreciated it. Thanks.

Jesus... Nothing is impossible for me. I believe!

What so ever for today

2009-01-30T21:40:00.004+08:00

Today spent my time to post pictures during my smart ledger period. . . LOL. Nothing much to do also.

10am. Went to auditorium today. Listening to a talk on " SUCCESSFUL LIFE".Last for 1 hour. Oh well, don't ask me about the details cause i ain't listening. Was busying doing my business proposal. LOL.... the only thing i remembered was the sound that made out from the speaker's mouth. haha...

Went to ttsh to visit my dad after school today. Bought him a chicken essences hamper. Haha... It's the new flavour. With fruits in it. Contains Vitamins A & C. Got chance i will buy another one myself.
He went for CT scan today. The second time for this scan. Yesterday wasn't able to capture the image from the CT due to the fluid blockage. Per scan $1000+. Ouch. Two scan= $2000+. This was not included the ward fees. Haiz....
He is still as slim. Currently breathing using the oxygen tank. Usage of sodium chloride etc.
Saw my brother and grandmother today. Yep.
Tomorrow is my dad's birthday. Feel like buying a cake for him. But he can't eat that.
What should i buy?
New clothes? Tonic? Or just whip up some home-cook longevity egg noodles?
Hmm...

My mum share with me her point of view regarding my opinion of applying poly. She said that if I am going to apply.. the fees is way to expensive . But than.. she said.. if i really can make it to poly, she will find a way to support my education. Hopefully i can make it.

No idea what happened to my tooth. Extremely pain . Gezz.... my gum is like swollen. Guess i have to take Danzen already. Hopefully my chlorhexidine works.

Chilling right now... WoOt!

Overdue Pictures 2

2009-01-30T10:45:00.003+08:00

Steamboat @ Pei ying's house. On the Lunar New Year. Eve. Yep.

We staying over @ pei ying's house. Playing risk till 3am. Yawnz... But we are having a great fun.

Just that we are having a hard time finishing the food in the steamboat. XD Busying preparing the food.

A game of risk. Anyone?

hmm.... what's that expression?

This is a Guy. No Doubt!

(Take a closer look at the top right hand corner.)

Ohh.... hungry.

Wahhhh!!Steamboat!!

Some overdue pictures.1

2009-01-30T10:19:00.010+08:00

**(Christmas Outing)**

25 dec 08.

Me and Francis. My chai Tea Latte @ Starbucks.

Me and Pei ying.

Me,Francis,Jia ming, Pei xuan, Pei ying, Wei Yang

(My Birthday Celebrations)

3 Jan 08

Most heart-felt food i ever ate. Cook by : wei long. Haha.. Thanks.
Me posing with a cake. Actually i have two cake. Bought by : Francis & Pei ying. Thanks.

A close up of the delicious dark rashberry cake!! Yummi!!~

SteamBoat Outing @ Bugis.

Delicious Food with Great people! ^^

AhhhHH!!! Finger!!

~James aka Cheng jun ge and francis~

Enjoyed myself being with them. ^^

Ain't that great

2009-01-29T23:39:00.003+08:00

My day(s) wasn't that great.

Yesterday, my dad was admitted to hospital again. But thanks god, he is out of danger. Right now at ttsh waiting for the reports and scans etc.
I guess I am ok. Yep. Feel like expressing out but just ... yep. Even if I said it , not many will care. So i guess...I can save it to myself and god. Two more days to my dad's birthday. Don't know what to get for him. I was wondering if he can take chicken essences...

Sometimes i wondered if anyone understand or cares for me. It seems like the words i said seems like a joke to some people. Or ... when i am trying to get someone to understand my situation..they appeared to be more interested in continuing their side of stories. Why can't they listen to me? I am not nagging whole day long....can't you just listen?

And why are there bias among friends? Ain't I your friend too? It's not the first time. Why do you treat them so good ... and me?

Seems like everyone don't understand what i am going through. Friends? Do they understand? If they do... why they won't listen?

Keep saying i owned you guys the treat. I did owned you guys. But the following treats i have been treating you are enough to replace this. And do i have this money to treat you guys now? If you are asking me izzit too much from me.. YES. Because i have my own expense to settle etc. If you keep saying i owned you this treat.. than forget it.

And i tried to do what i can....

I bought you a necklace. That's what i owned you. And where's mine?
Occassionally treat some of you meal at bubble tea shop etc. Do you even care to remember?
I treated you arcade . That's to pay back your mixed rice treat. You don't even know.
I treated you TCC more than enough that can cover what i owned you. You say you broke etc... I treated you TCC. Still not happy? Not satisfised? I guess you have forgotten all.

You should know who i am referring to from the above.
I don't wish to talk futher more. You all always think i didn't did enough here and there. But when i did, did you did the same thing?

Ask for a personality feedback. Said "I had a foul temper". Yes. I agreed. But do you have to go to the extend saying " not even suit to be a human?" I felt very insulted. I am asking for a personality feedback. Not some unneccessary comments commented by you. If you think it's nothing to you, it's something to me.

So if you don't even know where you are wrong. Look at here. And if you think it's nothing wrong. . let it be. Ok?

=============================================================
Feeling so shitty. Lost to my cousin for the CA2. Shit. So upset. And i failed some more.
=============================================================

Recently some problems arising. Making me feel stressed and emotional.
Having some toothache this few days...

What can i do?

Don't know. I shall see what's install for me tomorrow . Lazy to care too much for now.
Study hard!!

Happy chinese new year!!

2009-01-27T06:02:00.004+08:00

Yes! Happy chinese new year to everyone.

Yesterday waited pei xuan to finish her manicure. $6.80 for an express manicure at toa payoh. Base coat, top coat and 1 polish. Do you think it's worth your penny? XD Well... think is for you to think. But for the skill of $6.80...i think anyone could do that. XD.

While waiting for pei xuan to finish her manicure(with py by her side), me and james went to NTUC to buy his chocolate fondue and yue sheng.Of course... francis was on his way too.

Had a great reunion dinner with my family and friends. Ohh... The food... I was so full lor. Have to eat at home... after which join in the second round with pei ying and francis. Haha... But i enjoyed the stay with them together with james. James even make chocolate fondue for us!! So delicious sio. Thanks!

Well... i have to eat steamboat again...lol. But not so bad la.. haha

Goshh... suffering from a bad morning signess. XD

========================
Dreamt of a bible with some writings on it(in red). Don't know why... i just know that's the words that is prays in tongue. But i just don't understand the words. Articulation and.... it's not like Eg"apple" but it's " epapl"? Something that you don't know how to read it.

Heavenly father, are you trying to tell me something? Hmm...Maybe i need more time to understand.
=====================

Went for service with James, Pei xuan and... luan xiang at the jurong chc. Was an enjoyable service. And definitely.. i have learnt something new about how chinese words/chinese new year greetings have a definite link with the words of God and through the generation of Chinese / People that have been living on the earth.

I never knew there's a link there. WooT! That was really an impressive impact learning.! AMen.
====================

I will post the overdue photos soon. Stay tune. ^^

Knowing What You Need

2009-01-22T00:06:00.002+08:00

Knowing what you need is more than

knowing what you want.

It's a kind of clear-eyed wisdom to see

what is worthless.

It's touching on someone who

you know won't turn away.

It's reaching for something

that's really worth the climb.

And it's learning to let go

when it isn't.

Knowing what you need is more than

knowing what makes you feel good right now.

It's knowing that the same thing

will make you feel good again.

Good food with great friends.

2009-01-21T23:34:00.005+08:00

Last sunday went bugis with James and Francis. Wanna Shop for some CNy clothes. However, we ended up in a steamboat shop. Haha. Of course.. and again.. indulged ourselves with delicious ''delicacies''. Haha... Just some meats, fishballs and mix around in big pot of chilli and chicken brot based soup and yet taste so wonderful .Wow. That note that letal combination of chills with meat. XD..Oh gossh.. Can I have another steamboat with you guys? XD What a glorious weekend to end with.Hanging out with friends and chill. And of course can't stop the temptation of adding the weights to my tummy. Will upload some pictures soon.

Afterwhich, we hangout in the arcade. And what am i doing there? hehe... I discovered the new drum Live set !! So cooL! $2 per credit. Songs included: Bon jovi- It's my life. Jolin- Ma de li bu xi yi. Metallica- (oh well... i forgotten the title. XD) Anyway.. it sounded just like real drum. You gonna really CHECK THIS COOL STUFF out in your area. The game titled: DRUM LIVE.

I believed me and my friends enjoyed it very much. Even though we are kinda exhasted at the end of the day. Haha...
===================

WOW... ok. I scored 50/76 for my mock test (accounts). Oh well.. didn't really study it. I have to study hard to win my cousin. she WOn me by 5 marks. We shall see . Haha...
===================
I am such a failure during the police panel interview. LOL... don't wished to talk about it. Conclusion? One word to describe it. Funny. -.-''
===================

Ok. I think that's about it. Talk to you guys again. STay COol Man! ^^

2009-01-19T00:43:00.002+08:00

(At the peak of my busyness!!)

Goshh.. fatigue? Stressful? Restless? Lost? Or *maybe dead to this world? Oh well, another word of explaining *that was i was asleep. XD
I could hardly have my very personal time this month. Gezz... Can't study as well. I have to make some proper planning.

Thanks god that i have resigned from my dental job. Currently serving my 1 month notice. And of course.. i had choose to resign was due to my final year exam. I don't wish to neglect my studies. Yep. I am applying JPAE/ DAE this year. Hopefully i am able to get into a ploy and future my studies. HOHO....ok. That was random. XD

Lately spent time out late with my friends. Don't really wish to stay at home because my mum have been acting very weird lately. Scolding people for no reason..throwing the plates and bowls into the rubbish bin. I don't know why she is acting this way. All i know is... this is a act of childish. Why? Do you think that a noisy environment is conducive enough for a patient to recuperate? Just because i don't accompany her to go NTUC to buy some gorcery with her due to my tireness, she just throwed her temper on everyone? Gezz....

Anyway, school isn't really that great for me. I mean...classmates aren't that encouraging. I don't feel the urge to do any project or related school work with them . Yep. That's just me. Lonely and i am just too used to the way I am. Acceptance isn't going to be in my life for them. They are just way too annoying. Oh well... i should have just say "irksome". Get a life people.. -.-"

Jesus! strenghten me day by day!! Amen!

Ok... that's about it. Time to sleep. Nights pips! ^^ cheerios!

2009-01-13T23:02:00.000+08:00

(God in heaven...you are all i need.)

Hope is found in christ divine. Truthly..... in fact.. I have nothing to deny the power of God. You are just so mighty. I have to link this to what i am saying here.

My dad was admitted to the hospital out of the sudden this monday. He had difficulty to breath and he was in coma after that. Thus, my mum and uncle called the ambulance immediately. Everything was so sudden when i went out after 30mins. I cried so badly when i recieved a call from my mum saying that my dad was in a very bad situation that he had used electro-reviving system( electro-iron/ pump for caronary(heart)). My mum cried over the phone too. Afterwhich, me and francis rushed down to ttsh. That worried face from my mum really makes me sadden.

Told pei xuan about it. And she sent her prayers over the phone to my dad , mum and me..

Waited for 1 hour +? ... outside the A & E (accident and emergency) ... the doctor came out and informed us that his condition had stable down. THanks GOD! Soon after, dad was sent to ICU for further observation. And now.. he is going to check-out the hospital tomorrow!! Praise God! Jesus... thanks..

Thanks to all those friends that sending your concern and regards to my family. Thanks alot. ^^ God bless.
===========================
( School )

So stress up with my schoolmates. Just don't like to assiociate myself with them.

Went to distribute flyers with wei long. Goshh... so tiring. And we got $30 each. -.-" We had to distribute 3000 flyers sio. -.-" haha... but it's fun working with wei long. So crappy and funny. haha.

I am very happy today as my ITE TAMP thailand trip teacher wrote me a testimonial. WooH.. it's like so cool. Definitely added some good image and reputation in it. Hehe...
==========================
(Personal)

I am shortlisted as police officer!!! Haha.. only shortlisted... no worries. Still ahve to go through a selection. But of course, if i can enter to poly.... i will choose poly 1st.

That's about it i guess.... haha.. take care!

2009-01-03T12:15:00.002+08:00

My Birthday!!!

Yep. Today is my big day. And i am sitting at cdac playing com. LOL.... not so bad. Chilling here alone. LOL...

Yesterday.. wei long cook up his favourite dish. Noodles with egg cum luncheon meat! Of course.. for me. LOL.. 1st time cooking to a girl sio. Hehe.. Felt so honoured. even though it's a simple dish... it's nice and i appreciated it very much. So touching. After that, we indulged ourselve in a game of yu-gi-oh. LOl... Me? 1 win 3 lose. XD... Not so bad.

Afterwhich, i meet up with pei ying at orchard. we went to hongkong cafe to eat. Ordered spring rolls, curry with bread and one plate of rice, 2 ice yuan yang, 3 suee mai and 1 butter and pineapple bo lo bun. XD..

About 8.30pM? Py bought a watch for me... XD.. goSHhh.. so touched! Next, we went to b. plaza.

10pm: Head back to toa payoh. Meet up with francis.
10.15pm: They bought a cake for me!!! Mango and black forest! And that girl gave me only 1 candle! Gossh... And without spoon! worst still...
11pm: countdown.. and ate my 1st cake.. blackforest. -.-
12am:!!! My actual big day! Countdown and ate my mango.

1am: !! meet px and py's house downstairs! Countdown again!! And got the 3rd cake. Cheese cake. And see her dance... her hyper dance. XD

Thanks alot to those who wishes me and those who had celebrated with me!!! Thanks again. Love ya guys!

I am still young! LOL...

2009-01-01T22:53:00.002+08:00

(Things will never be the same again.)

3rd time. It's the 3rd time. You broke my heart for the 3rd time. That's enough. Really. That's enough. Enough for me to hate all of the man on this single Earth.

Get lost. Or shall i say FUCK OFF! You should felt honoured. 2009... the 1st person who i scolded FUCK OFF!!

You said it's a bad present? What do you think? A game? Is this a game? And i lost?
Yea.. you are right. This is the worst birthday present i ever received. I rather not to receive it.

And what? all you need to do is just say you can't think probably? REmain as friends? Than you should stop talking about relationship things to me. You should stop talking about decision. Decision that we can back together. What's all this? False Hope? What the FUck is all this?

Why you have to appear again.. and giving me all this "hopes" when i am about to forget you?? Forget the past...

I have alot to say. Cause everything inside me.... never turns out right.It really makes me wanna cry. Every single day, i think about how we came about all this way. Nevermind. not important. Not important. Not important. NOT IMPORTANT ANYMORE!!!!!

Challenges

2009-01-01T15:23:00.002+08:00

(Challenges)

Hmm... ok. I have no idea why i start this topic today. LOL.... Nevertheless, challenges is important to everyone. It aids in oneself growth and maturity. Oh well....
This year, I am might going to take part in some extraordinary competition. LOL....That's singing competition. LOl.... it's not english. It's hokkien. LOL... and maybe oldies . When life don't challenge me, i challenge life . XD... Chie.... If not... life is so boring. In this lifetime, i would like to try out different stuff..(good ones) yea. Experience sio.

Not bad.... but that francis lah!!! That time i wanted to participate... he don't want to be my partner. -.-" sian.... where can i find a partner that knows how to sing hokkien and oldies? -.-" My dad is out for sure. Because he can't follow the tempo. XD haha.... my mum too. Her vocal is worst than me. Haha...See how it goes bah.
Later going running.... yawnz... quite lazy but have to run. LOL... Because today is 1 jan 2009. Have to fulfil my slimming goal. And again.... francis don't know how to swim. He don't have a swimming trunk and of course.. he is afraid of water. I think... XD

Tomorrow in the early morning, i have to accompany my dad to tan tock seng for scan already. Everything is going to be ok. As what my prayers said.... he is going to be ok. He will be ok. He shall be ok. Ok.... i don't worry too much.

restless night

2009-01-01T03:59:00.008+08:00

(Restless night)

It's 2009!!!! knowing the time now was SGT 0400am and couldn't get to sleep was totally terrible for me. Even thought it's new year. -.-" Lol..Doesn't seems a appealing year for me? XD

Well, doesn't mean i have been staying at home and be a potato couch for the year 2008 31 dec. I can said that i have spent my most meaning life with my precious and love ones this year. Firstly is "him"... go all my way to yio chu kang and see him ride bicycle and i don't even have the chance to ride... Secondly is my very last moment with francis and james. LOL...

Ok. Shall start with the first. Oh well... actually nothing much. Felt honoured to be the one who can actually went out with him. Just chit-chat around and chill at the side of the swimming pool. Get a free can of F&N cherry drink. Yep. Just happened to be my favourite drink. -.-" haha..Apparently..the main purpose was just to chill-out. Wanna chat more but eventually, he had to go home . SO? Yea... i made my way alone back to toa payoh. But glad that he is doing well and stuff. Mature and more organise about his future. His decline in weight/ size makes me feel abit... heartbreak.... Seems as if he suffered alot. One negative point was that more bad words coming out from his mouth. -.-"

Francis and James? LOL... This two funny buddies really made my day. Talking funny craps and stuff. haha.... Well... what can i say? 8 years of friendship. XD.... I am very grateful to have them as my close and best buddies. Yep. And three of us bought snacks and drinks to the rooftop garden to admire the spectacular fireworks as we count down together. WOW! It was great. Afterwhich, we indulged ourselves with our wonderful snacks , game , and balloon sculpture making. Even though it was a small gathering , it was enough to make the three of us happy. And james made lots of balloon sculptures for me!! He even made me a heart shape ! That's so sweet of him. ThankS!!

When i was on my way home, i saw one of my cadet greeting to me " HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" lOl.. i was so surprised that he still remember me. I think he is call benjamin. Is it? LOL...Anyway, just blamed me for mine STM(short term memory). Haha... I have too many cadets to remember. Hehe... Hmm... Guess i am quite famous during secondary school days when i was a NCO of publication and projects. Any cadets still remember me....SO TOUCHED!! XD Missing those days when i shouted my commands at them. HAizz....

GOd.... thanks for blessing me with such a great day of the very last day of 2008. Do blessed them in whatever they doing(as long as it's in a good way). Success shall belong to them. Amen!!

I don't know why i couldn't get to sleep. Maybe i think too much or what.. but i think i miss you. Haiz.... Guess i am too tired already. Start to utter rubbish... haiz....

OK !!! WHatever it is... JIAYOU FOR BRAND NEW YEAR!!! WOOOT!!

homer

2008-12-30T13:32:00.003+08:00

(Homer)

That's my title for today. In fact.. this week accept friday and saturday. LOL.. left 1 week of rest before term break is over. Goshh... can't get back to reality that i am going back to face those pile of books again. XD

Zzzz....ok. Staying at home alone playing guitar, singing out loud... lol... such a life. XD Better than nothing. haha... Managed to strum out the tune of " zombies" by cranberries. LOL....More self-training to go. WooOOT!

Guess later it's better for me to read up my genesis chpt. More interesting catch-up to go with GOd. Haha....

And my birthday!!!!!! I want a birthday cake! It's been years since i ate my birthday cake. *note that is mine birthday cake. Not others... haha..

*j e s u s* Heavenly daddy, blessed me with a wonderful Birthday every year.^^ Love you !

2008-12-30T13:28:00.001+08:00

(Bleeding Love)
Singer: Leona Lewis

Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, baby, baby

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep (keep) bleeding love (love)
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing (ooh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (ooh ooh)
Keep bleeding (oh ooh ooh)
Keep, keep bleeding love (love)
(Oh) you cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love (yeah ah yeah)
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (oh, I keep bleeding love)
Keep bleeding (I keep)
Keep, keep bleeding love (oh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

2008-12-29T22:42:00.003+08:00

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION

ok. in case i am too busy for this... i shall post this now.*cough cough. Ok ladies and gentlement... here's my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION for 2009!!!! haha

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
-Be Like God. ( Compassion , righteous etc.)
-Faith strenghtens day by day with my walk with god.
-Family bonding MUST be there.
-Bring my family out. Gathering.
-Breakthrough in education, career and family problems.
-Great health to them.

(Friends)
-NO misunderstanding.
-NO quarrel.
-Be with them (be it in need of help or fun. XD)
-More bonding.
-Great health to them.

(Society)
-Serve the needies (and those who in need of help.)
-Great health to them. God bless.

(Minitry)
-Serve in two ministry.(Learning Guitar and another i am still thinking..)

(Personal)
-Be less bad-temper
-Be less-emotional
-Concentrate on things that i am doing. Focus!
-Don't bother by relationship problems..(I think i don't have for now. XD)
-Reduce 10kg at the end of 2009. If not... $50 each to james and francis. XD
-Expose to Music.
-More money. XD Working double hard.
-Great health to myself. XD

+++++++++++++++++++++++
Ok. that's all for my resolution. XD. today went out with francis to J8 to buy his mp3 pouch. After which, we indulged ourself with some arcade gaming and stuff... Ya...Percussion. Yep.

Well, soon after.... we went to have our dinner at a coffeeshop. My fave!! Minced meat mushroom noodles!!! woHOoo!! Francis ordered that too! haha... Great taste though.

That's about it. XD

2008-12-28T16:26:00.002+08:00

(My prayer was answered! Amen!!)

That's was a wonderful heading to start with isn't? Haha... I finally open heart to my lord on 25 december. Was a very Significant day to me and everyone. Because Christmas was the day Jesus was born. And definitely, he is definitely in me . I felt a strong presence of God flowing through the Expo hall when thousands of people actually come down to the alias for salvation. AmeN!!

And my prayer was answered after the day i lay down my heart to the lord. My prayer was that misunderstand shall begone between my family and friends. And God heard my prayers! I actually quarrel with my dad for days... but soon after, my dad actually talk to me and asked me to take care of myself. Eat more and drink more(in a good way). I was kinda shock. Was it the God's doing? You know? I was definitely overjoyed. I thought was wasn't going to talk to me anymore.

Heavenly father, you are just that great and wonderful. Righteous and holy....^^Thanks for everything.

Yesterday, mei tong was supposed to give me salvation bible study. But due to her hectic schedule, pei xuan took over her turn. Yep. Nevertheless, it was fabulous bible study. 3 steps to receiving salvation : repentance, believe and confession. And of course... there's lots more. I shall share more with you guys next time. Hmm.. mei tong started to inspire me alot. Haha...

Anyway....... my dental job has finally come to a break! WohhOo... 1 week break. Better than nothing. This holiday, i can be boostful to say that this holiday is the most meaningful holiday i ever had. ^^ Amen!

Next saturday is my birthday! Wonder if anyone wanna celebrate with me... XD

Quarrel

2008-12-24T16:22:00.003+08:00

(Quarrel and stuff)

嘆息＊。。。争議もって友達。えと．．．昨日午後，あらうんど．．．　五時分半。
今情緒非常に悲しい！！！！　何故?！争議よ細かい事度も. . .

Family and friends wise.... i don't really know what to say. I only know... i feel that i am further and further away from everyone of them.

GUess it's ok. I will get used to it. Since everyone of them think they are much useful rather than be been a useless. Like what my father said'' I am a handicapped." In his eyes.. I am always that useless. So i think i can forget it. Forget changing or even bother. Work so hard for this family and yet this attitude to me. Just let it be. I don't wish to bother anymore.

What can this family be without me? I think makes no much differents. They don't even care. Even if a lunch or dinner .. they just called my brother and not me. Than what's the point ? What's the point of taking up 2 part time jobs to feed this family since no one cares for me? What's the point of staying since i am such useless kid in their eyes?

anyway... Merry christmas eve to everyone.

2008-12-23T23:25:00.003+08:00

recently~

Yep. went for various interview with wei long in-search of a job for him . quite tiring... was really exhausted this few days. I found a flyer distribution job too. $6/hr. Quite a good paying job though. Waiting for my mascot job right now...

Yep. I have decided to settle down at chc. while... right now.. i have to find a cellgroup. After which, i will be involved in minitry. serving God and speading the words of god. Most probably would be musician, guitar learning or music minitry. Back-up vocal is one of my choice too. But all would be later on.

Bought my $110 prudential saving plan. Goshh.... kinda short of money now. But no worries. Anyway, i am going to graduate soon. so...it should not bother me that much.

Sigh*......Sometimes i wonder if i am really too much. Can't really control my temper very much. Yet, i just hope that those who are around me could understand me. I never think that my problem or situation is very big. But i just tend too pissed off very easy when i heard things i don't like or when people said... "No wonder..." I hate this. I don't like people to link to the past .

Maybe alot of people think i am too agressive, emotional, unpredictable or just plain childish when things don't appears to be my way etc. But i am.... just mean to be this way.

I am agressive because I want a answer.
I am emotional because no-one seems to understand what/how i feel.
I am unpredictable for my emotions because of the words you said.
I am childish because I always wanted the right turn-out. But it's not.
I am stubborn because I hardly be stubborn enough to hold on my decisions.

Quarrel with francis and jia ming recently. Quite upset.
But think back again... I am very foolish.
Think and think....if we have difficulties been together, why not just let it go? Have been taking advantages of each other... is that what friends are for? I don't understand you...you don't understand me.

I don't know what to say but just want to say, let me be alone for sometime. Maybe i will feel much better. I tried not to lose my cool...but in no vain.

My dad? Thinking i am useless and i didn't contirbute to the family. I did contribute. But no-one recorgnise my effort.

No-one ever recognise my effort for what i am doing. I work so hard... from academic to qualification. I got thophys, certificates, etc.... but why they just aren't happy for me? Hope that i will aim higher enough? Nope. They are not. They just don't care.No one ever care.

My relatives look down at my family. It's ok. I studied hard enough .. hoping that i can enter to the poly..hoping that everyone can give me some encouragement. But no! Not a single shit from them.

My thanks god! I still have you. At least you are always with me. At least wei long, kheti and aik keong are still with me. And of course.. those who still cares for me . I will work harder for God, for family, for those who cares for me and those needies and who in need of help.

Guess it's time for me to serve the society of the less fortunate people rather than wasting my time depressing and angry about issue which is not doing good to me and anyone either.

2008-12-15T15:03:00.002+08:00

I FEEL LIKE CRYING OUT LOUD!!!!

why u juz don't get it how i feel?
why u juz don't understand how i treat u?
why u juz don't understand....

When i tot my wounds had heal.... it didn't.
I still cried for u... I still think of u. I still miss u.
But u juz dun understand.

When a song came across my mind.... i tink of u. I need time to heal.
When I saw the photo we took together....I deeply miss u. I need time to heal.
When I sleep everynight...my mind is only u.... I need time to heal.

u juz don't understand. when i took on de phone with u... de other side of me is crying...Yes... dreams is dreams....it's never what it seems...

-If i were u.... i will never let me go if i were u,
-..... i were always love me .
-if i were u...

I can't tell u wat 2 do. I can only hope for more...more decision for good...like we were before.

But u will never understand...

2008-12-15T14:38:00.002+08:00

depress......I am juz a silly gal. don't know why i still hold on to you. which i shouldn't.

I don't know...

But i know.... since it's so long... and you asked me to move on...
I will.

And guess i will burn the past photos away....cause i will think of you again if i see those pictures...even though i still think of you now..thinking we will be back again..etc.

how silly i can be?

...

That's all for now.

2008-12-13T13:17:00.002+08:00

WooT! IT's holiday!!! haha.... well, kinda overjoyed by it. Oh well.. it means i can slack around but not for long...still gonna work. XD

Some of the updates:
-My mum's health is better for the time being. Thanks for the concern. Yep. She is ok now. My dad is kinda unstable...persistent coughing and weight loss. Hope that he will recover soon.

-I received my OCBC FairPrice VISA Card!!! the only thing is.. it is without the visa. LOL... better than nothing. At least i got 2 debit card now. More savings should be going in... *I assume.

-Signing my prudential saving plan next tue with py manager.
-Oh... getting my pay this sunday.
-Christmas is coming... that means....my pay is decreasing too. >.<

-And i am going for christmas service!! Yet to confirm.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Oh well, i was quite pissed off yesterday. Yep. REgarding the christmas celebration for the elderly in school. I am really very pissed off. I have to perform and guard the PA at the same time without assistant. Nevermind. Mrs xxx keep rushing me to carry off the table and chairs down to the stage... but I have to change the music for the next item. Than she keep nagging in my ears... I was like....since you see the table is there, why can't you give a helping hand? instead... you stand there and spend your time nagging? *adhorent creature....

Nevermind. After all the performance is over, she thanks everyone for the hardwork but didn't thanks the guitarist. (me and japhian). Like what sio....Attitude. Seriously, i don't like her. Because she loves to bring her what so ever teaching from outside her. Which is totally unacceptable. She have to learn to embrace the world.. only if she can have a bigger view of it.

Anyway, the event was a real disaster. Event was delayed....1 hour? -.- poor arrangemnent. Two buses didn't arrived to pick up the elderly and have to arrange the 3rd bus.Oh....

That's about it... Guess i will change a new skin soon. Haha...

Hmm...

2008-12-02T19:38:00.002+08:00

Ahh... finally have the time to rest for awhile.

This friday(5 dec) is my mum's birthday and next tue(9 dec) is aik keong's birthday.
I have already decided to buy a not so creamy cake. Cause i not she don't like it.

Hmm.. for aik keong's birthday... i have not yet decide. Need to confirm with kheti. Ya lor... But anyway... he said he need to see whether if he will be recover from his sickness and free anot. Hmm... ok.

And good newS! I scored 83 marks for my Advance Accounting 2 ca1. Haha... didn't really study much though.. I am so happy. But now i have to study for my Auditing. It's this friday.

Hmm... this month would be a special month for me. Because i will be buying my 2nd insurance scheme. Prudential saving plan. Yep. The 1st is ntuc health policy. Guess i will take my theory driving lesson next year. Most probably around Early Feb or March. Don't know is class 3A or 3C....but confirmed Manual. Followed by practical and driving test. Will be taking either from yishun or admiralty.
Regarding the car? I think i don not have the intention of buying it now. Maybe save it for better use. Have the licence for convience wise... car pooling etc.

Ok.My OCBC card will arrive soon... Muahhaha.... So happy. Can start my saving plan for retirement now.. *sounded so old... XD

Today AUD cancel... Having 3 hours break.. afterwhich, I just attend a 2hours SmartLedger lesson. LOL...

Ok la... that's about it. Will update soon. ^^

Cheers.

sickening

2008-12-01T23:33:00.004+08:00

Oh... i am so busy... ok. Nevertheless... I am back here to blog. Yep!

Goshhh... my 2nd Ex Joe...is coming back again...-.-
I also don't know why he suddenly message me and come and find me.
Come back for? Me? or wat?
No comments. Break so long le.... why still suddenly pop out? Than still call me dear?! Goshh...I gonna go bongus...i have no time for this...

Yep. And i start to dislike everything that's around me... I mean some of my classmates and schoolmates. Someone even mistaken me for liking him?! Please lah... who wanna like you? Keep telling your bunch of friends i like you and spread here and there....Walk pass you... your bunch of stupid friends keep girrling at me. Seriously, PLEASE GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! STOP PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME.

And i also wanna say Wxx xxxx, stop being a sickening. I am not a man pleaser. If you wanna sae i despo dan sae... no need 2 go thru elseone. And i have no time for man... so please put your sickening nose into your business rather dan mine. I would much appreciated it. Don't like it dan get lost. Say me despo, think about yourself 1st...

I don't know what happen ....i really hate this feeling.... I destest this feeling. I feel that people is laughing at me. Not i sensitive or some mental disorder etc crap. But ... it's really a fact people is laughing at me. For no reason... i became a despo? Ya... Even said to that extend that he said i need guys? Pop up a issue say i like my classmate guy? Those who know him... walk pass me and laugh at me? What the FUCK is this? I really can't stand it anymore!

Can tell me what the hell happened? What is all this rubbish about?

I swear to god that i WILL NEVER EVER GONNA contact you all this "classmates cum school mates". YeS! I CAN't WAIT TILL THE DAY I GRADUATE FROM THIS SCHOOL WITHOUT SEEING YOU PPLE. Just get lost!

I REPEAT MYSELF! I AM NOT A MAN PLEASER. I will not please anyone. Not happy? Get lost! I am very patient already. You all keep testing my limits.

Than good.. I am here trying to save hard for some money for my family. You guys keep wasting my money. Eat this eat that.... treat this treat that. YES LAH.... i own alot of you alot of treats.... but now... AM I RICH ANOT!? Damn it la.... can see my situation anot? Never treat you all give me that kind of shit face...

A world without you people are much more better.

I am very tired to work alternate days already. Yet, this people keep irritates me. They really can't spare a tot for me .... dan why i still care? I understand what god is trying to say when he said we should love our enemies. Yes. I will love them. That's why i never quarell with them etc. but they really push it too far this time.

I don't feel like talking to anyone in my school now... except a few special ones.
Fakers.... get lost....

Now I understand why my mum told me that all of you all are rotten.(refer to FAKERs)

ALL IS FAKE!!!
I only trust god, aik keong, francis, py,px, jm and wei long.....

The rest... sae is there for me.... dan? WHERE? WHEN I REALLY NEED U GUys? WHere? FAKE!

God is always there for me...God is real. I know he will always be there for every1.
My 1st is there when i am really down.
Francis is always listening to my troubles, thinking solutions etc.
Wei Long straight away help me out when he knew I have financial problem. Words of encouragement.
Pei ying... give me some stuff so that i no need 2 buy...Words of encouragement.
pei xuan always give me words of encouragement... and a hug when i really need the most.
Jia ming's free lunches n sponsors... ^^I own him 1 dinner sio.

The rest? STOP SHITING LAH!

too busy...

2008-11-23T21:20:00.001+08:00

Too busy to update..

hmm... will update soon.....

cheers.. ^^

I need a time of peace. I need to be alone.

2008-11-10T10:53:00.003+08:00

Yep. I had received my worst bad news again...

My mom is going to hospital. Yep.She went to this particular jurong tcm to see if that tcm in-charge could cure her..."illness/sickness". However, even the tcm doctor says she can't drag anymore. She have to go hosital. Yes.

The nurse called..... said that she have to go hospital. Or shall i used the word "instructed?" The nurse even said..."If you don't go by ourself, i have to send ambulance to fetch you now...

In this case... you can see.... how serious is her sickness....

Yep. She has a bloated face and swollen pair of legs. I saw already..... I really feel like crying.... but i didn't.

My dad.....he has been coughing persistently... and sudden weight loss. A very serious weight loss..

I don't know what happened to them. But all i know.... Both of them don't wish to go hospital to see. Yep. What can i do?

Please don't ask me to pray, chant.... or whatever....

Seriously....

Please don't . I am already irritated by lots of things.... I have no time for this.

During one of the saturday/ sunday, all of us....(four family members) gathered together. Finally gathered together, and start to have a chat. My mum and dad told me " If man suffered from a bloated legs and woman suffered from a bloated face...that's means they are going to die soon."

They informed me to be prepared for the worst. Cause they knew it themselve. They instructed me to take good care of my brother. If can help him find a job...best still.

I told them.... why don't go for hospital check up? Isn't a better way out?

But they insisted ....a negative stand.

I am sort of....lost.
I am desperately looking for job. For whatever hospital fees... medication fees they need. Even my bro said "I will go out find work to support both of you". So.....I can't give up. Yep..

so.......

If you are religious..
Or should i say... I don't care which religion you from..
If you have the heart..
Please send your prayers/chant for my family that they would be alright.
I hereby thank you deeply.

And Do I ever have a time for religion now? One say this... another one say that....I don't think i have time for all this. I am really very headache. you guys... please give me a break. Really. STop bothering / or be a bother. If you guys really care....pray hard for my parents.
Maybe you might think i am such hipocrite person. Previous posts talk big about how i feel about how great is him(sorry about that), than now? What am i?

I need a realistic concern. A realistic solution......an immediate solution. What i can do... I no need those concerns that i can't help my parents at all. Or those concerns of yours which don't link to any help of my parents.

Sorry to said that. But really...... and i don't want because of this... i get my mum upset etc.

Yes. And stop talking about relationship problems in class with me. Get a life! Stop all your rubbish. If you have nothing to do... get somewhere else... stop nagging your love life to me. I seriously... HATE IT!

Goshhh

2008-11-06T19:01:00.002+08:00

I can't believed my own eyes...a passerby actually tag the Cbox of mine tang mei's(cousin)blog and ask her to go and die and critised her that she should had a full length mirror...commented that she is ugly etc...

That's ridiculous!! Well, that's some disturbing comments by the passer-by. Higher chances are... her EX. -.-'' what can i say? An childish act?

He should get a life. Seriously... -.-' Shame on you Passer-by aka ISYFPS.

Anyway... I was so committed in my school work. Yes.

But no doubt... God has strenghten me... Be it my studies or activties.

Woot! that's about it. ^^

Gratitude

2008-10-29T23:46:00.004+08:00

Yo guys! I am Back!! WoOT. It's been a long time since i blog. Well, around 2 weeks? Hahha.... So what's the different in me? Well, I am back with high spirited cum motivated person. Haha....I am so happy that things had finally came with an conclusion. Yep. Relationship wise... I don't wish to talk about it anymore. I just wanted to be in the house of god. Yes. Heeding his advices, singing praises for him. Yep. Really glad to be back with the lord. I was foolish from the very first that i never heed his advise and doubt his presence.

But now, I am back. Faithfully... I wanted to serve you with my entire life. For you have been creating little miracles for me which i didn't observe since than. I know... and i believe you know i am a sinner. Yep. You name it, i have it. 10 commanments... i broke all the rules.I am dirty minded.. yes..which is such a disgrace..I am not a pure person...yes...a totally disgrace. But you have die for our sins on the cross.

I am very touched. I am ready to change. Seriously. And I apologise to god and to those of my friends out there... For my wrong doings during the past. (vulgarities, unacceptable behavour--> throwing temper on you guys, dirty minded, violent...). Sorry. I will change for the better.

I will be settling down soon. Yep. Currently searching for a church. Once everything is in place, i will be serving a ministry. Yep. Not interested in realationship for i have no time for this. I have think through it... right now, what's important is my studies, god, family, friends and the needies. Relationship hurts me deeply. But i am ok. Yep. ^^

And to those whom i wanna thanks :
(Wei Long aka bro bear bear)- Thanks for been there for me during my ups n downs. Really thanks for your great encouragement . Manz....really appreciated very much. And without you pointing out my weaknesses, i would still remain as a .. wanderer. Yep. I am working hard orh. So does you. You must work hard too ok? Let's work hard together. Haha....But please take good care of your health too. ^^Thanks again for sending me proverds from the new testaments.

Pei ying- Yo chio bu, thanks for blessing me the new testament proverds. I learnt alot from it. We shall exchange what we have learnt from the bible next time. ^^

Francis- Naturalism. Hahah....ok. Thanks for showing me your extraodinary control of your temper all this while. I will learn from you too! ^^

Pei Xuan- You are a hard worker. ^^congrates on your latest promotion. Hehe...God is definitely creating wonders on you.

Kheti- Hi bro, must be surprised to see your name right? Haha... Really appreciate to have a friend like you. Whenever you are stress-out, think of positive things...think of god(that's my bro-wei long) taught me. Yep. Still remember what you said? ''sometimes i wonder if god exist?'' Yep. I can tell you... he do. He is everywhere...he is inside you. ok? ^^ Smile alwaes...^^ God will show the way .. No worries.

God does really make the change in me... bit by bit.....

I used to fit my rage.... Yes..anytime...I can grab your head and bang on the wall...haha...but that's past. Seriously...i have change from rage to anger. and anger to just a small...arguement? Lol....but whatever it is...thanks to all again for teaching me a lesson of life.

Hmm... that's a long entry. Haha... ok. I will stop here. Still having school tomorrow. Yawnz.... nights.

Is this me?

2008-10-18T00:32:00.005+08:00

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.

Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor

Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer

Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer

Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

You Are A Social Butterfly

You truly love all of your friends.

And your motto is "the more, the merrier"!

Making sure everyone's included is your mission. You love getting to know your friends' friends.

You always prefer a group of ten to a group of two. You think large groups have the best dynamic.

What Kind of Friend Are You?

You are Not Ready to Date Again

And deep down you probably know it.

Your ex is the number one thing on your brain.

And you're still suffering from the post break-up blues.

This is when you need to take care of yourself -

And take a break from men (especially your ex)

It's time for you to pamper yourself!

Warm bath, plenty of essential oils, and a good book.

Are You Ready for a New Boyfriend?

You Are a Friendly Ex

While the guys you've dated haven't been perfect, you've kept most as friends

In fact, one or two of your exes may be your best friends - after all, they know you best

And though your mature attitude is awesome, make sure nothing gets too weird

Or else you could lose these friendships, simply because your exes' new women think you're *too* friendly

What Kind of Ex-Girlfriend Are You?

You Have Your PhD in Men

You understand men almost better than anyone.

You accept that guys are very different, and you read signals well.

Work what you know about men, and your relationships will be blissful.

How Well Do You Understand Men?

You Are An Understanding Girlfriend!

You care about your guy, so much that you tend to put him first

And while this makes your relationship smooth, sometimes you let big things slide

Still be your understanding self, but if something really bothers you - let your guy know

He'll still want you, even if you occasionally disagree

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

Men See You As Understated

You are an intriguing mix of girl and woman.

You're feminine, quiet, and a total mystery to most men.

Yet they often feel the urge to protect you, even if they don't know you.

You *are* a flirt, but you usually only flirt with those you know well

How Do Men See You?

You Are Sexually Powerful

Your attitude toward sex is healthy, safe, and sane.

You enjoy sex as much as (or possibly even more than) the average person.

You're open minded, intelligent, and adventurous when exploring your sexuality.

And while you never take things too far, you take them far enough!

Are You Sexually Powerful?

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion.

Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu...

Your convictions are strong and unwavering.

You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

End of the school week

2008-10-17T23:19:00.003+08:00

Oh..... Today is the end of the school week. Yes. Felt so exhausted. Awhh.... but it's ok. This week was just about slacking. Nothing much. I miss my class advisor, ms ng. Goshh.. kinda surprised that she left us and was transfered to HQ. But it's a good news for her. Perphaps she got promoted? ^^ I am happy for her and the class of IQP do really miss her. Alot.

Well, nevertheless... she had also left some encouragement to the class of IQP. The story of a donkey. Besides that, she also bought the birthday gifts-green pen for the birthday babies. Even though it was just a green pen, it was the thoughts that counts. And i am very fortunate to receive that too! ^^ thanks ms ng. We guys will work very hard towards our goal. Like what you mention to us, be it civil service, CPAs, entreprenures , bosses etc...Do take care. May angels and god watch over you. You are a really great teacher. Haha....

Another sad thing... i just break-up friendship with one of my guy friend. Because he said something that he shouldn't at all. Yes. Should i say it here? Haiz... nevermind. Friends of/with ''benefits''.... if you would understand....

Everything seems cool. Recently read up a book titled '' the seven deadly sins ''. I don't know why i read up this...but it's cool.

This are the following deadly sins... do you have what it stated here? If yes, you better be praying hard, repent and change for the good.

THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS:
1) superbia (hubris,pride)
2) invidia (envy)
3) ara (anger)
4) gula (gluttony)
5) luxuria ( extravagance, lust)
6) avaritia (avarice, greed)
7) accidia (sloth)

goshh... to be honest, i think i fit into 6 of the sins. -.-'' pride, anger, gluttony, lust, greed and sloth. Dotz... I sounded sinful izzit? So i am trying to change into a better person by reading more books of wisdom and listen to more songs that benefits me. Yes. No more hard gothic rocking songs or violent demonic sound-like songs...etc. I think i am much corrupted inside my brain for the time being. Time to clear up the trash in my brain.

=============================
Don't know why, i wasn't that as closed as my district/chapter leader right now that before. Perphaps i think i am not important anymore. When i work hard for something, i wanted to see the fruits that i had sow from the beginning. Yet, one thing i don't understand. Why you guys see mk so important than me? I am not fighting a position of district leader. Leader position to me is important if i had the chance to be... I wanted to be. And i work so hard. And yet? I don't asked for return. But why ? Do you guys had to neglet me when he is there?! Do you guys care about my feelings?! To be honest, i know his elder bro is a chapter leader or district leader... but does it means he got the special treatment or what from you guys? Keep talking about leadership position to him. What Am i to you guys? I am seriously pissed off. REally.

I SAY IT ALL OUT AT ONCE NOW! Student division also another thing. Why i never received any informations when there's MEETING!? Come on, you guys included me as potential member right? I am supposed to come for the meeting right? Than why no one informed me until i had to be informed by priscilla that day? What is this?

Seriously, i lost the motivation to continue anything. What i am seeing now, when you guys needed help, you all find me. When i cannot attend that particular help-out, you all never contact me anymore until i really never contact you for long than you message me.'how are you?'' all the shit. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? YOU TELL ME? I try not to show my temper. But you guys are really too much. DId you guys really noticed what i had done?

Just like during the secondary school times. ok. my cca is npcc. I am a full attendance cadet. Never failed to come . Report early, dismissed late. Help-out all the shit here and there... kanna knock it down like siao. All activities i attended. Be it school or external. Than? Promoting day... what do i get? Still remain at sergant. Ok. nevermind. I agreed that i am not an expertise at drills so i failed i believed is because of this. But guess? THOSE CB FUCKER that never come for parade....on off on off.... attendance like shit kanna promote to staff sergant! Sorry la. i am not a asslicker or what. If your drills is good... i accept your promotion. but u guy aren't

So what are the drastic measures i taken in this situation? I skipped the following parades after the promotion. Never attended it at all till graduation. cause to me... it's useless. Go there also swip npcc room.

So that's what going to happen to me when you put this example in this situation. Yes. Say me all the ugly words you want....

===============================

Yawnz.... feel so comfortable after venting my anger out. WOOT!

AHhhhhhhhhhh..... dotz.... dun knw what to sae liao.

That's all about this and that... be right back soon. ^^ smilez...

what issue than is important to you?

2008-10-11T23:39:00.003+08:00

there's alwaes something that's important to everyone...

Be it....relationship, friends , religion, etc....

or maybe perphaps.. even a word that's utter out from someone that you loved/care the most could hurt you that badly.....

Well, i myself.... exprienced that. Yep. Words hurt. . and hurts really deeply... cause.. whoever that person...who just said that "it's not important, i don't wish to talk about relationship.." yep..... hurts me alot. Heartbroken....

what i said is not important?

Yep.. i agreed. i don't even know what i am trying to say sometimes... but thanks for saying that.

I will not think. As what you said.... " not important". I am too silly..... I know....

what happened to my surrounding? I feel that my world is been torn apart..

I need some good rest.

leave me alone.

I don't know what is happening to me...

2008-10-09T00:49:00.004+08:00

When i thought i can 4get about you easily...

I just found out that i can't. AT all.....
Not because i am weak. . BUT...

Because....

Deep down ....

You are rooted inside my heart...

JUst can't bare to say good bye to you... ...

(Bleeding Love Lyrics)
(by Leona Lewis)
Closed off from love
I didn’t need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you’re frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melted to the ground
Found something true
And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding I keep,
keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing’s greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep (keep) bleeding love (love)
You cut me open

And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don’t care what they say I’m in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don’t know the truth
My heart’s crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing (ooh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (ooh ooh)
Keep bleeding (oh ooh ooh)
Keep, keep bleeding love (love)
(Oh) you cut me open and I

Keep bleeding (ah ah)
Keep, keep bleeding love (yeah ah yeah)
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love (oh, I keep bleeding love)
Keep bleeding (I keep)Keep, keep bleeding love (oh)
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

everything is still the same just that..

2008-10-08T14:42:00.004+08:00

Yes. everything is still the same .. just that situation is different. This doll has been with me since 8 months and 28 days. 2 more days to its anniversary. bUT.... it's owner left only me.. .. haiz....

just wanna tell you that...... i will try my best to stop message and call you so that i won't be that depressed. Yep. You take care. * you will be forver in my heart. ilu

hmm..

2008-10-08T14:10:00.006+08:00

hi pips! and again... i am back to re-blog again. with the company's com. XD... i seems so free XD... ok. not really. i am doing all this crap after the entire crappying work that was been passed on to me. Goshhh.. unfinish matters.... -.-"

Anyway, this is my last week of attachment. Yep. Last day would be this friday. Hmm.. any thoughts or feelings for that? OF COURSE!!! i can finally take a good rest. Haiz... Didn't get a good sleep since i start this attachment though. -.-" So what's new after my attachment? School reopen... -.-"

wah cow.... macham no life. Don't understand why is so.....

well, at least a got a idea for now that i don't suit office careers. Well, or should i say..... office careers are way too out for me. Is totally a "No-No" to me. Especially politics! Yes. Those fxxx-ing politics. Can't they just wash their dirty laundry at home? Or should i say they are too free that they even can help to wash yours? Gosh.... get a life man...... my past ambitions was to be an lawyer? but ... no... i didn't make it to the poly...... nurse? not relevant to what i am studying now. Accountant? ahHHHhhHh~~ sounds great izzit? Great hours, great fun... you even can slack online.... park your nick on the msn etc.... well, i used to think that i love accounting....or i should be an accountant. because i can earn lots of bucks! But... i don't think so. I felt so suffocated here. No stress. I am kinda a stress-free person. But.. i just don't like it. Just felt like a prisioner here. sitting at a 9x6 kinda cubic space area with nothing but com and telephone. Keep ringing like no other businesses...... i certainly will go bonkers someday.

I am signing up for SAF. Yep. kinda incredible izzit? I never tought of that. Never ever this idea came across my mind. But it just came and struck into my mind. Not because of the salary of course.... partly is because of i always wanted to be out in the sea, love authorities, rules and regulations and serve singapore . Yep. I once told my friends and family that i wanna be someone great during this life time. Even if i am not a governor, nor a member of a committee.... i get to protect and serve singapore!. This is something that i am certainly going to be proud of. I hope i will get to get in through the interview i guess. And hope that i will get the 11B. HoHoHOooo.....

*cough cough .... ok.. lots to type.

Keith is going to tekong tomorrow. AhhHhhhw...... sad. I don't get to send him off. I needed to be at CMPB at 9.30am tomorrow. And he is leaving at 8am? >.<... sadded(btw... no such word)... Hahah.... Wish him all the best in whatever he do. And he better don't cause lots of trouble inside. -.-" God bless.

Than sum1 is also having a great time in the army. yep. shouldn't have said something i shouldn't have said. But my words are spoken out. Finally. *i can rest in peace liao. Hahah..... hmm..words i have spoken out makes me feel lots of better.** Like what i said --> Hope that he would be happy always with his future gf. May all the best in his future endevous(don't know how to spell) XD. my only regret is that... i shouldn't be that stubborn during that point of time. but...... what's over is over. As long as you are happy.... i will be happy for you.

but i really hope that... he will be happy. Happy forever.... with no worries and problems shall not hinder him. Yep. PLease take care. ok? yep. take care...

abit crappy... -.-" i seems to talk alot....

Haiz... don't know what i am thinking. I can't understand myself sometimes.. perphaps thats me. Weird.

Contradicting

2008-10-07T14:07:00.007+08:00

Yep guys... i am back again .. haha... this time using the company's com. XD lol.... currently busy with attachment and my tuition job. Goshh.... was so... exhausted. WooOt! no worries. still get to hang out with my gang of buddies, wei long bear bear etc... haha... Sure was having fun bah. ^^

Came back from johor last sun. WaHHH.. 1st time go johor with pei ying and pei xuan. haha... so happy. Go there shop here shop there.... ^^ next time dan upload de pics. ^^

Went out with wei long also.... Yep. Swensen lor... haha... chicken baked rice and salmon pasta? with fries etc... hoho.. sure was a feast. XD

to sum1: "Yep...and recently dream of you........ ya.. silly egg head. Glad to know that you are safe and sound in the army.tot u MIA. Hmm.... yep. Good arh. looks like you have lots of army friends le orh! must be fun. hmm.....but dun get bad influence ok? now know how 2 scold me "pig" liao lor! wahhh... smart liao lor. ahya! go view ur porn... haha...remember to drink more water. I wonder how fun was your duty walk? forgotten wat walk is that.... XD.. hmm....just be careful ok? ...haiz.... as if you will look my blog.... you always don't remember my address de... haiz... nevermind."
*i miss you alot..... please take care.. may you be safe and sound. god n angels will watch over you..

Life

2008-07-20T01:00:00.003+08:00

Oh well, it seems like my blog has yet to turn M18. With all the vugarities etc.. XD

Anyway, i wasn't feeling that great today. I didn't attend my NDP rehersal today. I was feeling unwell and felt abit dizzy when i stood up and walked. Gezz... But still met up Francis and went to the library and borrowed some books.

Unwell.... arghhh....

Books that i had borrowed (so-far cum latest updates) :

Stress management
Anger management. (How to control your anger.)
Know your personality colours. ( Yes... I am a green person.. Creative , innovative, sensitive and emotional.. etc)
Upgrade your brain. (yes.. feel that my brain is downgrading..-.-")
The owner's manual. (Some scientific terms with an interesting way of interpretation.)

Ok....All books are good for my brains. Time to have some mental upgrading... -.- And i found that the "Know your personality colour" is very interesting. Yep. As what i said.. I am a green person. Yea... green people are harmonious people. They seek for peace. Yes. However.... green people can snap and bite when people angers them. And it's really bad when they snap. I guess so. XD Green people perfers doing things in the creative manner rather than sticking to the tradition ways of doing things. Solving problems is their expertise. Etc... etc...

Yawn!!! ok. time to sleep. Have my meeting at ICA later. Good night. ^^

Oh my god!! Such a hectic month!!

2008-07-16T15:26:00.003+08:00

Yo guys! Oops! sorry for the late blogging entry. I was so busy with my event(s) and NDP. Gosh! Hardly had the time to sleep man. .. I sleep about 4 hours everyday. So tired and restless. Have been busy with interact club, ssa upcoming events, work and studies. Yep. As what Francis said " Are you trying to be a juggler or something?" ha ha... oh well.. perhaps. I am packed with schedules !! Oh my!! So people, do book me in advance as i am very busy. Yep. I will not entertain last minute activities.

(NDP 2008)
Yea.. Finished my NDP NE show 1 and NE show 2 (appearance by prime minister). Was quite a good turn out. The chief of NDP had commented soka that we/they had done a very good job. However, everyone wasn't take it for granted . We must have the unshaken spirit!! SHINE For SINGAPORE!!

(School)
Everything is turning out great. Yep. Love to interact with the new probations. Haha... get to "PLAY" with them.. hehe. They are such a interesting batch. Like Yilik, shing yee... etc. Borrowed Yilik's comics to read during my leisure time. And guess what? IT'S NEGIMA/ MAGISTER NEGI MAGI!!! haha... love it so much.

For some reasons... i had neglected wei long. he knew it.. i know. That day, he asked me to be one of the ushers for a harp event . I rejected it due to grace's tuition. I have no idea if he is angry with me on this. Since than, he hasn't been talking to me. I can say.... i am all right with it. Because i really have to work. Believe it or not. As what i was saying... people need to book me in advance. Is not i am a big shot or what... all my schedule is been arranged and planned and informed before hand. I can't change the schedule anyhow i wished.. I am giving people tution ... and not a flexible job that i can manipulate the time as i want. Hope that i can seek the understanding from everyone.

And i am very straight forward here. I will accept my friend for he or she is. And that person is hairul. I can see what's going on and i know what's happening. I am not stupid. But i can say he is definitely not a hypocrite person nor that kind of person that backstab people etc!! Just try to be understanding. You guys have your own problems too. People also do! He has a sicked brother at home to take care of!!!! And he is the sole-bread winner of the house!!

I had the same situation as him. A sicked brother who is suffering from brain tumor. That's why i understand how though life is going on between him and his family.

It's easy to say but it's hard to do. He is trying very hard. Can't you all see it?! No matter if he is having his ups or downs, he is still putting a smile on his face and trying to make other people a brighter day. So please don't outcast him. Thanks.

(school - academic)
Hmm... talking about academic? here's my latest released of results.
CA2

AAI : 72/100
PTC: Not tested yet.
CT: Not tested yet.

Yep. Some in details calculations for my final year AAI marks that i should get.
Calculation (AAI):

(CA1 + CA2 )/ 2 * 40% = 96 + 72/2 * 40%
= 33.6

Cut off for this year ( for "A"s) : 82-85 marks

Final year = 40% + final year 60%

Estimated final year marks that i should/must obtain is : > 88 marks . which is ... -.-" yea. Lame.

But it was a great breakthrough i can say... And i always believe " No prayers shall goes unanswered!". Yep . And of course.. hardwork is needed for this too! Trying very hard. I know that i can't select the poly applications this sem due to my GPA. Yep. My results is as stinks as a fucking drainage. Damn. All is caused by my year1 sem 2. Fuck. here's the GPA for my 1st yr.

GPA:

year1 1st sem: 3.313
year1 2nd sem: 2.824
year1 aver : 2.389 (fishes! ..l.. -.-")

How am i gonna fight for a poly position? I had calculated my GPA . Even if i obtained GPA 4 for both sems, I am still like around.... 3.4, 3.5 (exclude cca). Yep. Orh... dotz... I guess i really had to go saa study already. Because i don't wanna waste my time and study business admin.

(work)
Grace is giving me headache.

(friends)
No matter what... busy is busy. Yet, i will still have some personal time with my friends. Oh..went for running with pei ying and francis. Was great! haha... but guess it doesn't help much on my weight. XD. Hang out with them too...

To Priscillia: Don't give up faith for you have been fighting hard for happiness and kosenrufu! Don't ever let sanshosama defeat you!! You this silly girl. How can i replaced you? I will never replaced you. So does anyone ya? you are yourself. OK? Mr and mrs Ikeda never thought of giving up faith even when there's obsticals! Their obsticals was much more harder than us! Our problems is just the tip of the mountain. So, don't be shaken by the poision of fear, greed and hate. ^^ ok? I really hope that you can fight all the way with the gohonzon that's in each and everyone's heart.

(CCA)
OK. Have been abit not so active in sc. I know. Trying giving me sometime ya? Will be back very actively after my NDP. My NDP schedules keep crashing with my meetings sio.

Than busy with zhe hao on the genshiken lor. The "modern japanese research association". Was thinking to set up in school. Busy with the information etc.. Yet to confirm with the teachers if this idea is good since one of the teacher is supoorting it. But i have no idea who is it. Only zhe hao knows. XD. I am only part of the mastermind and the planning of this CCA. XD Cosplay, animation...etc.

Interact club. Yep . I have to be active here. No choice . Cause I am a BOD here . So... yea. Man... so busy lor. I gonna be involve in next week orientation. CLub fund CLub Fund!! $2!!! ^^

St john.. alamka!! this cca hor!! i have alot of comments on this. What they have been learning is what i had already learnt in my npcc days! Arghhh!! I wanted more on medical skills and informations! Zzzz.... attended the 1st gathering last week at pasirris .(cannot make it.) . Firstly, all the members reported late and i am the first person to arrive. -.-" wtf! secondly, the members was talking among themselves and sleeping during the civil defence course. Thirdly, i don't think this is a cca. Totally no discipline. It's like a bunch of crap gathering together. The only normal one is the teacher. ZZzzzz..... organising skill? Some people don't even know the informations at all. Some said it was a BBQ session. Some said it was a gathering session. And what i know was a civil defence training course. Confusion in relating the message. *thump down** I don't think i will go back for this cca. A waste of time. Find a better committee next time.

I guess that's about it. Hhaha.... Stay tuned. ^^

with love..^^

New start?

2008-06-16T01:00:00.003+08:00

Well, nothing much 2 update. haiz...

Hahah...zhihui(eric) so gd~~. Called me everyday. XD.. abit touched by what he did la... as in making the effort to call me despite his tireness after his work etc. Hmm.... Shall See how it goes lor. haha....

Ahye... goin 4 camp soon le... abit.. hmm....but i knw i will enjoy de.. hahha.. XD

Whatever

2008-06-11T21:22:00.003+08:00

I was quite depress recently......

My mum and dad had be quarrelling and fighting over money issue recently. I really felt irritated and depressed. I mean.... i just don't understand why they have to be like this.... And my dad.... why can't he be more understanding ?! Mum is already working like hell.. from morning till night and he just keep asking money from her. Why can't he just stopped talking about the past issue ? Why he had to do all this?

Give us a break . Don't push us too much.

For some reasons ..... i think i will have emotional breakdown one day. I worked so hard but money is never enough for the family.

I don't know what else i could do to help. Especially my brother. Soon , i am going to be the only sole-breadwinner in the house. But now.... in this present state, i don't think i myself can last any more longer.

I am trying very hard to be positive. But it just seems difficult. Now... a home is not a home. Mum just came back from work, do her own stuff and than sleep. The same old routine again and again. Dad? Nags about money etc.... Is this a home? Is there any much communications?

I feel that what i am staying now is a motel. everyone is doing their own things. WHy?
However.... I have to stay strong no matter what happens. Gohonzon, please give me the strength... really. I need the strength and courage to overcome it.

=sch=
I don't like my camp group at all. Not because of the members but is.... i wanted to be with hairul and helina. WHen i am with them, the fun is always there no matter what.

And talking about camp, i can say i dislike camp alot. Alot more than you can think of. I never like/love camping in my entire life. And talking about camp... i can still remembered when i was appointed to be the group leader, i am just as delighted as anyone else. But, during that camp, it turn out to be other people who be the leader. So is like what the fuck. I wonder if that person who appointed me as the group leader is talking for fun or what. whatever it is.... i don't care anymore.

++++++Extra+++++++
Glad that someone found his full-time lover le. Happy for him. Will pray hard for his happiness. hmm..... yea....

Daydreaming

2008-06-10T23:16:00.002+08:00

Today was just as fine as before. You know~~ the typical blue cloudy sky....It's just made me feel so sleepy.

First lesson, Costing. Well, that usual same old nagging from my CA.

But for some unknown reasons, I just can't focus and concentrate during my lessons today. It was so humid and hot in the classroom. Totally turn me off. I was feeling so sleepy throughout the day. Maybe i should really get some rest.

So, what am I thinking about during the daydreaming time?
*Can I sleep?
*Can I sleep?
*Can I sleep?
*Can I sleep?
Yep... it just went on and on until the end of my class. Ouch~ I don't know what am i doing.

After school, i went to the xx xxxx to take a break. So, i was having a hard time trying to switch on the ps2 but my attempt appeared to be stupid. Ok. I don't have a ps2. So..... Yea.

Anyway, wl called me to have a chit-chat outside. Yep. Yep. I don't really wanted to comment about it nor i feel like explaining it. Let the misunderstanding worsen and rot by itself. I will still do what i am suppose to do.

Whatever it is, just let it be.

The exhausted yet as energize as before.

2008-06-08T23:19:00.010+08:00

Ok. Time to note down my small but achievements that worth a few applauses here.
Ca results:

AAI-advance accounting I : 96/100
CT- Costing : 79/100
PTC- Personal Taxation : 75/100

Indeed!! The power of diamoku is that strong! I have indeed breakthrough the obstacles . This is definitely not miracles but just base on pure fundamentals of law. Everything happens for a reasons. Despite the fatigue activities i had during the school curriculum hours and NDP, gohonzon never fails to answer my prayers. Thanks gohonzon for giving me the wisdom and courage. Even through sanshosama still invades me in unforeseen circumstances, I am still able to withstand it and continue to live up the spirit of Sensei.

Here's a list of my up-coming activities(personal) :

District Filming (Oh yes!!)
SD Major Event.
Interact Club Presentation At Toa Payoh HDB HUB.
SC Camp- April Intake 08.
St. John Civil Defence Camp.
Blood Donation Drive in School.

Well, it seems like I am fully packed with activities now. And that doesn't include any of the additional activities that might appear out of nowhere. I had to gear up myself right now. Man...i should really had a break for sometime. Cash is running low. I had to find a way out. Ok. Mental confusion!!~~ >.<

Last week(friday), i am really upset and had shown my temper when i shouldn't. I know I am wrong. I appologised to those whom i had ignored. Sorry for my attitude. Especially my bro bear--> wei long. Sorry. Thanks for sending me the message of concern. You need not justify anything as you aren't the one who made me upset. I had a reason for this. Well, everyone was involved in cleaning up the xx xxxx. :::And the story goes::: **Whateva*post deleted. NOT ALLOWED 2 TYPE!!If not later people tok bad about me etc all the shit and stuff. F*** off if you don't like. whateva!!

*Names are censored to protect the identity of whatever you had think of.

Yep. I am just been straightforward here. Yes. Democracy!! ok. No politics.

Anyway, that's all regarding my achievements and complains. Did I miss out anything?

hmmm.... Let me think.....

.....

Oh. Oh yea... I will be tutoring a Primary one kid tomorrow. Hoping that it will not be a disastrous one for me. ^^" Ok. Enough of typing. I shall continue tomorrow....

I am tired. Guess it's Time to turn in now. Good night guys. Sleep tight and sweet dreams. See you.

signed off: 12.41am 9/6/2008

GOOD news!! cum tok crap.

2008-05-27T15:42:00.005+08:00

Yoz... Ok. Haha... I am back!

Hmm... A Good News!! I got 48/50 = 96% --> AAI(ADVANCE ACCOUNTING) for my CA !!hAHAH... This is such a wonderful news. Man~~ however, my costing result is yet to come. I had my taxation yet. So it's still a mystery for my GPA. However, great results is nt juz de help of myself, but my frz SKye n Ming rong. Yep. Hv been studying with them. haha... great fun n entertainment = Great results. ^^ I Wished that skye will do very well in His Ca. Kinda worried 4 him. But me n Ming rong had decided 2 help him all de wae. ^^ Appreciate ok? XD

As for yesterday, i stay back till very late and wait for wei long. Haha.. We went walking around the J8 with li lian, pJ, and amy. But guess what? Wei long went to bomb the toilet. Haha... He damn funny sio. after tt went home to chill and studied my taxation. Dan also , wl helped me calculate my GPA. Haiz... barely can make it into accountancy. But I believe, the best path will always open up for me... with those fortunate friends of mine and the help of Diamoku. Yep.^^But really really, i hv to thanks wei long for his long term support in my academy. Jacinta n Cj7 aka jaslin, thanks both of you for the great encouragement and spiritual support. Francis n gang(px, py).... thx 4 de crap you all hv given 2 me 2 de-stress. HAha... you guys roxs. N last but nt least, uncle alvin~~ felt a great sense of grattitude to know you. Really... thx 4 ur words of wisdom n support.. helping me in wrapping , printing of stuff..... etc... all those stuff that i m sort of stress about .. you just help me in everyway you can. ... Felt so fortunate to know you. haha... Thanks for brighten up my day . without your help, guess i would be busy till i rot. It's hard to find pple like you n wl now adays.... thx for been there for me.. thx u..

Yea yea... working n striving harder for kosenrufu!! Haha... ^^

Well, i still can cope for my NDP. ^^ hoho... Gd gd. Everything start to be in place. Haha....

Oh.... juz remembered. i also tok 2 wl abt himself n myself. Yep. feedback session. Haiz... dun knw le.. I felt tt i m nt being myself most of de time. I seems as if I've been hiding my feelings/emotions. Well, I tink .. i will settle in my own waes n i dun like 2 bother my frzs with my problems. tT's all. so.... yep.

Btw.. here's are some of my very very best BUDS cum friends here..:

<--------Francis de cha bo. XD.. Is a He. XD

<---- BEar Bear wei long!!!!!! hAhaha... my best bro cum kor kor. But actually.. i m older dan him. XD...ahya.. still de same. Both is "sims" haha...

Skye^ (de abv pic) ++mING rONG ^ (DE abv pic) + Pei Xuan( abv pic)

Haha... de serious look of ++ de smart kid in de town .^^ + de ... errr.... dun knw wat 2 sae. de

him. + weird gal tt makes me happy. XD

tt's all pips!! ^^

CHINA earthquake

2008-05-20T15:20:00.002+08:00

People... here are the links to the China "si chuan " donations. You can make you donations thru any of the weblinks. Thanks. 好心有好报。用心照福人群。。。

http://www.redcross.org.sg/chinaearthquake_src_donate.htm
http://www.mercycorps.org/chinaearthquake/

more too come.

New START AHEAd!!

2008-05-20T14:51:00.002+08:00

Yep pips, i m back again. BUsy yet kind of free?

Hmm... lately, lotsa things happened 2 me. Yet, i m still as strong as b4. ^^ LEarnt to tink positive n change setbacks 2 motivations. Juz fin my Interact club proposal. dun knw y.. is like so busy on tis. From new intake listing to buying of stuffs. still tinking whether i shld perform on tt dae. Argh... guess i better push back de performance 2 nxt time as my guitar wasn't that skilled yet.
So, another than this..i m kanna busy n held up by my NDP. But it's ok. HAha... spiritual is my main motivation n strength. I am doin my part for kosenrufu~~Happy~~^^
I had resigned from cafe cartel already. Nw jobless. I wanna concentrate on my studies. I have to do very well this time round in order to chalk up my GPA back to around 3.313? I am very dissappointed since the last time i got a GPA of 2.8. Man... how can this happy to me? I am too playful last time. No jokes this time round.

Ok....So......

haiz...

ok.

It's about 6 months away to my birthday. And guess what? I AM GOING TO TURN 20 on that year!!!! hmm... GREAT!! it means that i am 1 year away from 21. And that means i am 1 year away from R21 show. LOL... haha.... joking joking. Tinking back, what have i achieved since the past 19 years?

hmm...

thinking....

think harder....

hmm....

well,
1)I have done alot of events and achieve lots of awards from school.
2)I get to fall in love n out of love once. XD .. err....
3)I get 2 help out n perform 4 de nation n society.
4)Be sociable.
5)Trying to act smart. LOL
6)Improve my GPA?/ decrease? XD
7)Challenge myself no matter what it takes.
8)get my parents to be back to "normal" . haha...
9) learnt ALL DE gds n bads.
10)Financial independent!!
11)still thinking.......

Regrets/remose
1)Ended up with a suxing O-levels result.
2)Lost a friendship with a person call "derrick" due to i said something stupid. If possible, i would really wanted to said sorry to him again.
3)Unable to help my brother right now.

Haiz... 3 regrets in my life. Man...... haiz... big regrets. But result is still nothing. I can still do well in ite. But 4 de last 2.....haiZ..... bery hard sio. haiz...

However... Here's WHAT i always had it in my mind.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Suffer what is to suffer.
Enjoy what there is to enjoy.
Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life,
continue chanting NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO, no matters what happens.
---------------------------------------------------

yep. And pple.... let's chant for the happiness of the China "si chuan" earthquake victims. Let's chant for there good fortune n happiness of every1. San-shosama BEGONE!!

Yoz guys!!

2008-04-15T14:02:00.004+08:00

Yea yea!! Hi guys. I am back again... LOL... ok. That's lame. hmm... the previous entries was seems so emotional. Haha... Yep. Haha.. Did you notice any differences in my blog? Yep. Well, Mr Wei long aka the big bear bear told me that blog shouldn't use any abrevations . Ok. Now i changed it. *Bear bear~ Thanks for pointing out my error. :D

Ok. I am going into details now.... regarding my past few days on what i am busy with. Yep.

+NDP 2008+
Ok. This is my first time involving in such a tiring yet meaningful event. A event whereby it's Singapore's BirthdAY!!! wohOOO!! ok. A little sneak preview. I will be performing at the last item under Singapore SOKA association. Titled: Ushers of Possibilities. Yep. This involved numerous flag actions and formations. What is it going to be about? Well, you have to check it out yourself. ^^

=School=
One word to describe . "Boredom". Totally crap off(my own way of saying) . haha... My class advisor just can't motivate me/my class to study. I even dozed off during her lesson. Man.... can't she be more "entertaining"? You know what i mean right? If that monotone of her voice can be stop, that would be great. I know she is doing/trying her best. But... i can say.. try harder than. Ouch~~ She came in the class and started with " Class, arrange the tables...it looks much more neater with it so that we can concentrate in class.. " Blurp blurp no link(*my way of saying it) ^^.
Guess what i learnt from her? Well... that would be her golden rules.

GOLDEN RULES
1) ATTENDANCE!!!! (10mins grace time)
2)CONCENTRATIONS!!!
3)FOCUS!!!!

arghh.....ok. She will repeat the rules everyday.-.-" And we was informed by the accounting
teacher that attendance is very important. Which is very true. It affects our GPA. Yep. But she told us that even if we are late for 1 second, she will be marking us late too. -.-" i was like... ok... hmm... interesting. So does that means that late-comers rather being late for late 2 hours also can?

*Relationship*
Hmm..felt some neglected by him. But isn't it what relationship is all about? "acceptance" and having a broader heart to accept him for who he is and what he is. Trying my best to change his way of thinking. Mindset that is... well, struggling... but ...both parties have to understand each other and is willing to take the effort to care even when you are really really really really busy.
Learn to be stronger.

He is busy with his career now. Helping out in his dad's company. No time to accompany me . It's ok....Glad for him. He is working real hard. Wish him all the best.

*Current situations*
Busy with my family, district meetings, NDP , school work/cca and job. I hope my dear can come into my busy category too. I hope i can be busy with him. .. busy with my friends too.haha.

During the holidays, i met up francis,jia ming and james to play a game of risk and Monopoly. We are too engrossed into the game that it ended at 1.30am.

1st pic: Game of risk2nd pic: Game of monopoly

Ok. that's all fokes. Good bye and take care. ^^

To everyone...

2008-03-30T00:18:00.001+08:00

if u were me.... wat will u do 2 tis relationship?

Yoz!!!

2008-03-28T23:03:00.003+08:00

Yoz pips!! I m back with my hyper energy again!! hahhaa... cause recently went back 2 HQ. Got my power recharge leh. Hehe... so happy.

2dae went 2 tbsc with yuen xiang n jacinta 4 de NDP 2008 briefying. Tis yr is goin 2 b a fantastic performance. Hhahaa... But, tis yr.... there r more than 7-8 formation compared 2 last yr "vatality of the lion city." The formation... i c liao i also gt shock. WOt!! But no worries!! It's a great challenge for us with de strength of gohonzon with us. Hahhaa.... And also..at de end of de briefying, YWD chief had gave us words of encouragement on 3.16 n NDP. YES!! SUre indeed it's a world wide kosenrufu!! It was really a tremedous 1. WOHOO!! JIA YOU 4 NDP 2008!~!! n also received gift from yuen xiang n a encouragement letter from jacinta. SOOOoOOoo touching. Its been quite awhile since i received a letter. Thx u.

yesterdae.... francis accompany me go ps de cafe cartel interview. And guess wat? I gt in!!! hahha.. bery convience 4 me. ^^ Really bery blessed tt i gt such a wonderful frz tt's alwaes beside me. He treated me go "mixed rice"makan also. Hahha.. thx u thx u. And so does other of my best bunch of frzs lor. ^^Gonna work hard, study hard n 4 all my future members 2 c.

Hmm.... nw busying with tis sun D4 meeting. Gonna study de materials etc... ^^ hahha..
strive joylously.. ^^

gtg liao. Hehhe..

Me?

2008-03-26T15:22:00.002+08:00

Yesterdae tok 2 u tru msn......i really miss u like hell....

2dae is de 3rd dae nvr tok thru de phone. Bery miserable....I miss ur everything.. Ur voice...

Than guess wat? I nvr sleep. I dun knw y... i wanna sleep... i juz can't. Than nw my flu worsten.
Haha... love sick? Maybe.... i only knw nw i m indeed nt feeling well. I wish u were by my side.. but u didn. Nvm.... Lucky i gt blog. I juz felt tt i m toking 2 myself when typing de blog...

Guess i m goin 2 gone nuts soon~~

I am so depress..

2008-03-25T22:19:00.003+08:00

Yes. I am sick nw.. Sick in physically n mentally. Gt fever of 38.C ... Gt flu also.. bery sick. Yet, nothing is much much more than sick in de heart.

I really miss u so much. Yet, our relationship seems weird...

People saes... 1st 3 months honeymoon. Yet, nw only de 2month... it's already like tt. I cannot call u n msg u. Only can tok thru msn, email or testi. I wanna ask u a question, is tis wat relationship is all abt? U r my bf!!..... and we had 2 communicate like tt juz because u wanna save ur bill and u dun wan ur parents 2 knw. Is tis a gd reason? Y u keep saeing ur bill is $112, de second time of de highest bill u had when my is $442 and i didn complain at all? And i m de 1 who called u most of de time?

U wanna save bill....haha..... wat a gd reason....

2dae is de 2nd dae tt i haven receive any of ur call. Nt even ur house phone. I dun knw wat u r thinking..... i really dun knw...

I ask 4 break.... but after tt, i ask 4 continue... and u saed we need 2 cool down 4 a few daes. And let u learn 2 b mature , caring etc. I said ok. I also need 2 learn nt 2 b childish.

But nw................. can give me a gd reason y u online....u juz ask me abt did ur frz reply my msg which i sent on behalf of u? U juz online n ask me abt him.... than u proceed 2 saeing ur bill bery X. Afternoon n nite.. same topic. U sae u wanna change. But never again... did u ask abt me?
U sae u disappointed... who is de most disappointed 1?

I promise u tt i will wait 4 u till u r out of army. But my promise whether is breakable.. is depend on u. I really dun knw.... u won't knw hw sad m i...

Save bill.....

No matter hw expensive my bill is... i won't sae tis kinda words 2 u. Because u r my bf!!! But u tell me u bill is bery Exp... than still tell me dun cause trouble 2 u... and until u get back 2 me.

Can i laugh nw? hahhaha...

....................................

.......

........................

guess ..... i m juz plain hopeless rite? yea....

Saw u in msn 2dae.. Thx bery much 4 asking me hw m i nw.. y i sick...
u said u r looking at de overseas thingy.. searching 4 course.
All i can do nw... is 2 chant hard tt u will get wat u wan and stay happy in wateva u do.

............

A dae of outing with de movie critics

2008-03-25T00:22:00.006+08:00

24/3/08: YEs!! yesterdae meet up with pei ying, francis, jiaming, and CC(chris) and eat zhi cha together. Haha... yep. everything, pei xuan foot 4 us. So cool... Thanks her bery much. But she didn met us up 4 dinner cause she is in pain? yep.. her ear pericing at a typical clinic.. Ouch! But she met us after the dinner.

***============================***

After tt, all of us went 2 bishan(J8) 4 a movie. "RULE #1" Yep. ERrr... meant 2 b a horror movie. Hmm... If i had de chance 2 give a rating 2 tis... tt would b 2/5. Y? The scary part is only maybe some bloody scences and the sound effect. U knw? tt typical sound effects whereby u will hear de moarning of ghost, high pitch/frequency sounds, some screaming....yeayea. Anywae.. it's NC16. Cannot expect much. Well.. it's not tt de movie suxs or wat... but u go c de ending, u will knw.

Best Spoiler by "us"~~de so-call movie critics: Yep. 1 of de best scene was tis head of cop of the miscellous department was toking 2 a old man whereby he complain that he doesn't wanna leave tt cinema. Than de lead actor(cop also) saw de reflection and the old man wasn't there!!! Thru de conversation with de head of cop, he was bery agitated and went bonkus? Than he change into dark mist and possessed a woman. WOhOooo.... tis part, u hv 2 watch urself. It was like.... gt a feeling of matrixs. LoL... tt scene.. i guess, worth $2 of ur ticket.

Best enjoyable part: Well well, guess it was de bed scene with fiona xie scene. But guess wat? NC16 again.. Nothing much 2 c. But it's my favourite. LOL...^^

Me: I m a horror movie lover. If u ask me if i would recommend tis 2 my frz.. I would. Y? some scene r still gd 2 c. But ending was like.... makes u wanna throw rubbish at de movie screen. Ah ha!! We r gd n educated pple. Of course we won't do tt. Hahhaa *tis is purely own Opinion~

Comparision: Hmm... so.. wat is an example of a gd movie? Well, if u r a horror movie fanatic who loves bloody n gore n at de same time, loves de total excitement of movie, tt would b SAW4. *thumbs up!!! *bowing ~~holy~~ Yes. But sad thing is... it's R21. Hahha... I can tell u, juz by watching de trailer from youtube, it makes u wanna desire 4 more~~ LOL.. believe it or not. It's purely godlike level tt makes u go *HOLY shit!! *WAT HAPPEN NEXT!!? *MAN, How COUld Tis happeN? etc... hehe..

*HoHhoOhoOoo... SAW4!! U de best!!

UPS

2008-03-23T09:41:00.008+08:00

All html n etc upS! haha... still tinking where 2 put my pics ..hai..

Anywae, i was suppose 2 go 4 ITESD Daimoku-gai at 10am at yishun. But i was 2 tired. Nvm. I will still chant at home. LOL... Yep. Faith is strong... anywhere would b good. Should go down 2 HQ and recharge my battery leh. hahha

ANd i gt 1 bery GD NEWS!! TT's i m in tis year NDP leh!! hehe..FINALLY!! WOHOO... finally can perform 4 the entire SINGAPORE n DO SINGAPORE PROUD.YES!! Bery happie. ^^

Than i m bery angry 2dae. nvm. I knw the situation can already. Than went out with francis n pei ying. Yep.. walk around tpy again. haha... than looking 4 job opportunities. Quite afew though...Ok la...haiz. Dun knw wat 2 sae leh... dotz..

I m back!

2008-03-22T22:46:00.006+08:00

Yo pips! I m fine. LOL... thx 4 every pips concern. hahah..Yep. Back with a old monitor. Haha.. fixed with my spolit monitor. haha.. finally can post leh. Nw doin a new layout for my blog with new song. ^^

It's been a long time since i blog. Alot of things happen around me. Juz fin de 3.16 tingy. haha... n also investiture.

Nw looking 4 a new job. Cashier is 2 boring 4 me. Service line than is my cup of tea. I was tinking 2 send a resume 2 de hotel line sie. Nvm. C hw it goes bah. Tinking of working at K-box or clinical line. Hmm... looking out for monday newspaper. My current workplace i also nvr put schedule. 2 lazy 2 work over there. Everytime c the section leader nag at people, i also sian. Hahaha.... heck care her.

Than as 4 my dear dear... i really hope he will nt worry so much. Dun wish 2 c him with a worried face everyday.Glad tt he found a new goal. Tt's open a new co or b a doctor. I hope everyone around me will put on a smile everydae no matter wat happens. Same goes 2 me. I m trying bery hard 2 change myself into a better n better person. Caring for more people around me. Trying bery hard in helping my friends, members, family n etc.....hope they will find their truth happiness within in this life.

As for hui sien, seeing her in pain... it reminds me of my brother. Just plain hurts when i saw her in pain.At least... i can c she is a bery fortunate person. Her friends do care 4 her alot. As 4 my brother case...it was juz...i juz can remember how my relative treat my brother during tt time. But it's a past already. I m nt really good at words. But, i m glad tt she has surpass de painful operation. Thanks gohonzon 4 blessing her thru n gave her de strength 2 overcome her obsticals. Thank you.

recently went out with francis, pei ying, jia ming n pei xuan. Haha... than lame 2gather. Those memories r really good. ^^than james recently contact me also.

anywae.. i sae i wanna write abt my thai trip. hmm... here it goes... shall post some photos here. hahaa...

(1st pic: I m glad tt my precious frz r there 4 me. px n francis sending me off. ^^) Tt dae , Chris, pei xuan, francis, pei ying r there. They thon over nite at de airport juz 4 me. Best BUDS man!! U guys de best!!thanks^^ Bery sad tt dae but they hv brighten up my dae..

(2nd pic:Hahaha... my singapore members. Me, sherman, nizam, rina n alan) all 2gather= jokers of de grp. XD

==look out 4 more updates!! ^^wohoOOO!!==

No comments....

2008-02-18T14:34:00.002+08:00

Some one juz msg me "quiet" 2day cause of me n him issue. I bery sad.

I knew he would b in bad mood because of the poly stuff. Help me ask Ms Ng, Ms wong for help, yet...... the conclusion is the same. A negative conclusion.....I knew he bery sad already. I cannot help much. Making me bery useless nw.....

Than too much pple knew my blog address already.... So i change again.....

everything is so sucky......

Ohhh..Sad day

2008-02-14T09:04:00.002+08:00

It's been a long long time since i blog again. Yep! I m back from thailand. Yet 2 update my blog soon. Com break down... so sian...

Anywae.. HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to u guys out there. NO matter u r 2 les, gay, friends, family or couples... Juz enjoy yaself out there ya? ^^

And 4 me? The thousand years snow mountain lotus had finally bloom but ... hai.... some1 cannot celebrate with me... And... i spent nite making cookies for him. Hope he appreciate it. I dun knw... actually i very depress now... cause 1st valentine's day, tis is wat i get... Maybe i shouldn b greedy of course. But .... i dun knw wat 2 sae....hai

Will update on my thailand trip soon....

Yo!!

2007-12-11T16:10:00.000+08:00

hmmm.... still left around 1 more month 2 go n i will b at thailand. ^^ hehe...

Recently hv quite a nice chat with the lamer, a.k lor... haha..Than he juz celebrated with his b'dae.

Tis sat is my cosplay event woh... so excited...n i wonder how's weilong doin in china nw... Hai....
anywae.... i hv a nice working environment at cold storage. Yep.

k bah.. tt it.
Thxs GOHONZON thruly tt i found quite a few greats friends n the path of life. ~~ ^^

Updates!!

2007-12-04T14:14:00.000+08:00

Yo... Pai sei.. Nvr update my blog recently. Hehe.. com spolit.

Here's de updates: Starting from Oath Taking..

1st pic: Wei lOng , me and nadia.

2nd pic: The april07 intake pips~~ ^^

OK... previous weeks was super super stress n emo. I hv no time 2 really hv a rest. Hmm... actually i did... hv a short break. But Really emotional breakdown . Stress... When i c my mum.. i more stress. No comments.

Hmm.. lucky gt wei long , francis they all 2 chat with me... Or else i tink i will die of boring... Hehe..

Than yesterday juz fin standard chartered marathon. Before tt nite, abit sucki. Y? Long story... Wanna sae 1dae also not enough. But I sleep with my frzs tt nite. Hmm....

Anywae, juz found 2 jobs. Nw at cold storage n synovate. Family finance .. i tink cannot make it soon. Have 2 take up 2 jobs. Supporting for my own expenses etc.. Sae till i so poor like tt.. Hahhaa... _-.-"

Sian.... dun knw y my mother siao siao 1. Everytime scolded me 4 nothing. Than always quarrel with my dad. Dad also quarrel with her over money. Everytime.. money money money.. Sian. Dun knw wat 2 sae...

Hai... busy busy busy. Than hv 2 quit chingay. No money, hw 2 go chingay?? Than busy with projects etc.. It's a grp project leh! Y like i do all alone like tt?! U tink i so free izzit? U all busy i nt busy meh?! At least find a gd excuse lah!! Idiot! U tink i m ur dog ah!! Chicken~~ Information i provide, presentation slide i do... than wat r u still asking 4?!!

Yesterday , went for B.O.D. interact interview. I asked for a V.P post. But i knw i won't get it. Teacher told me tt i m in SC. Commitment 2 much... blar blar... *bullshit.

Wateva...Gonna b bery bery busy....

Emo recently...

2007-11-12T20:33:00.000+08:00

Yo guys!! I am back again.. Yea. Tiring recently. Lotsa things happened. Sorry for my language in tis post 1st.

Gd news : -I am in 4 CHIngay as Coral despite of having the thailand exchange. Thanks 2 gohonzon!! ^^ It's really my gd fortune !!!
- Completed de performance cum help-out at Bishan last sat for de celebs soccer match. ^^
- I am back 2 normal. Hahha

Yea. Recently bery stress sia. Project was yet 2 complete and chingay performance n etc. Busy with sc event also n hv 2 plan 4 25th division meeting. wohoo~~ KInda went "Ki siao" soon liao. Than last week super super emo freak. Stress lor. Than bad temper. Hai...

Than quite headache also. Friends n family problem. Last wk, parents keep quarrelling. Bery noisy.. cannot concentrate at all. Went 2 sch like a zombie cause cannot sleep. I still remember is fri. Parents keep quarrelling . Haii... ... so i went 2 sch 2 report even i was having my start late day. Yea...Sian...Went 2 sch also sian. Like kanna been treated transparent like tt. Than, unhappy 4 de clean n green event because the rest of de sc members "pang sei" me alone at de convention hall after de evnt. Bery bery piss off. Seriously. I m also 1 of de members n yet been treated like tis. U knw hw's de feeling!? They juz walked away. Because of tis, i ran 8 rounds in sch carpark 2 vent out my anger even after my marathon training last fri.. Damn. Sorry... but really piss off 2 de core. .Pple though wat happen 2 me. Yea.. But really something happen 2 me. Juz tt been treated unfairly... kinda....haii.....i really dun knw wat 2 sae. Thanksfully, there's leon. He tok 2 me n .. yea.. no used of keeping de anger 2 myself. If nt him... i guess i would b under depression.

Anywae, after running de extra 8 rounds... i hv really cleared my doubts etc. I pushed myself 2 hard sometimes. N for wat i c, things r nt as wat u seen. U may think it's perfectly alright infront of u, but it's another story behind. It is like a movie/drama with a director, the actor/actress will try 2 b de boss themselves. Other pple c it might b great on de process but actually it's really rotting. Eg: A Apple n a barrel of rotten apples. So wat 4 i vent de anger on myself !? I dun really give a damn nw. But better DUN EVER STEP ON MY TAIL!! DUN EVER TRY ME!!

Wateva. K. Than 2dae plae with bobo(boey) n listen 2 tis nutcase. Keep saying " bankai~~" . OK. Haha.. he really makes my day.PLae techno songs in sc room n tt leon also went cracked up his head. hahha...blowing whistle lor. End of de day, when for dinner with daddy(vilvam), pj , amy n... i 4got her name. Hehehe... Yea. Hv dinner at ljs. Really enjoyed myself bery much. Hahha...

Cheerleading!!

2007-11-04T18:59:00.000+08:00

Wohooo~~ I was Soooooo HIgh 2day. Yea. Cheerleading mah. Yep. 2day is de 1st n de only practice for de cheerleading for the event (celebs soccer match) which falls on 10 nov. JUs 1day b4 Gohonzon Conferments ceremony. ZZzz... Still toking out with my parents. My dad agreed. No objections. Because of my results tt was proven 2 him. Just left my mum....ZZzzz keep asking me 2 wait. I waited so long, it should b my turn tis time. I must enshine it!! I believe i can do it.

K. back to topic. Hehe.. anywae... de cheerleading was so fun fun fun. Yea. I m one of de cheerleading members tt was standing at de gallery. U knw... we hv a bery impt role.. errr.. bring up de apmosphere?emosphere? er...watevea la. I tink is atmosphere. yeayea... I so smart. hehe...Than we also involve in de mass dance lead by uncle xui lian. hehehe...OPPs!!She looks so so so cute anywae. At de end of de day, we sing " forever sensei" to end de session. Than all of us hv MACDONALs~~ as our breakfast cum lunch.

Oya... I M IN CHINGAY!!!!!! WOHOOO~~~ did i said tis b4? hehe.. can't remember. But it's fun sei. Still dun knw wat role i will b in. Seaweed? Jellyfish? School of fish(skaters? 0.0)? crab? Ya hor... de chingay briefing was so funnie lor. The crab so special 1. Normal crab gt 2 "gong"(craws), our crab only gt 1 gong... Wahhhhhaa-.-" ok. I trying to b lame here. Hehhe...

Here's a word of encouragement i hv learnt 2day.
" The greatest treasure in de world is ???......" err.. dun tell u guys 1st. Guess....

......money?

...................teamwork?

.............................

.....................................

wat is it? Hahha... dun knw leh. K. I tell u.

Daisaku Ikeda said " The greatest treasure in this world is hardship" Why? Cause thru hardship, we will knw the character of the person we r facing. "

Yes. And thruly, the bond will b bond with tis hardship.
To me , teamwork is the gathering n spirit of working 2gather but at the end of the day, we will jus 4get the so call team work as we walk our seperate ways. However, with hardship.. we gathered all de force of spirit n endurance n really work tis thing out. And thus, bond will b build. .^^ Yes...

=================

And wat do u c here?-----------> IMPOSSIBLE
Yes. Pple tend to c it as impossible. Think of another way. " I M POSSIBLE". Tink positive n it can also do gd 2 ya health. Hehe...
==================

Jokes of de day : bery stupid n lame.. hahah..

Q；什么老鼠用两只脚走路？
A；米老鼠。
Q：什么鸭子用两只脚走路？
A：塘老鸭。
Q：错拉，所有的鸭子都是用两只脚走路的！
(k... tis 1 no comments.) XD
~~~~~~~~
Q:烤肉最不希望发生的事
A:肉跟你装熟。

-.-"

~~~~~

请问一只老母鸡加一只老公鸡猜三个字～～～～～～～～～～～２只鸡
再请问一只老母鸡加一只老公鸡猜５个字～～～～～～～～～～～还是２只鸡
接着问一只老母鸡加一只老公鸡猜７个字～～～～～～～～～～～～～～笨蛋，就是２只鸡

Such a BUSY me!!

2007-10-30T20:40:00.000+08:00

Hmm... sorry pips. Nvr do mine updating for almost 1 week? Haha.. Recently busy with my own stuff. Arghh.. is like so so busy. Dun really hv much personal time. Dotz...Quite tired but still in search for a new job. Hmm...

==Summary==
-Donated my blood to de hospital for health check. Not enough money 2 foot de bills, sock yee went all de way down 2 novena 2 find me. I am so grateful.^^Back again after 2 more weeks.
-Busy with Gakkai activties.
-Busy with Sc , enrichment programmes(Elementary japanese course) , interact club
-Project and homework.
-Busy at searching a new job. -.-"
==================================

Recently busy with sc and language course. Hai.. keep crashing with one another. 3-5pm having japanese class, 3.30pm hv committee meeting, 4pm oath taking. Dotz... All crash. Even though my mentally can take it, physically... I am really wore out. Totally. Have to do project- Business presentation on a country with my grp mates. Yep. Than my com keep blacking out. Abit sian...

This whole week of mine is fully book. ok..

Feeling stress lately. Don't know why. I seems abit down in school. Man, depression? Haha..anywae, i feel that i didn't contribute much 2 my committee. A sad thing happened 2 me is tt ... 2day committee meeting, everybody's name was mentioned accept me. It's for de grats nite event. Than after tt, i was told tt i m in de programs. And nw nt in programs but logistic. My mood suddenly sinked 2 de bottom. I feel that my presence was not recorgnised. I don't really knw. haha... i seems so pessimitic(dun knw hw 2 spell).

Many pple/friends hv asked me 1 very common question. Why do i have so much commitment? Well, I shall say it all here 4 de benefits of others.

Reasons:
1) To shows de spirit of sensei. ^^
2) I have time to spare?
3) I have no bf.
4) To occupy myself.
5) To learn as much as possible in my life.

Gd news: I m in 4 CHINGAY!!!! YEA!!~~~^^

Hmm....now... take a look at my so-far past commitment.

[++Activities 2007++]
Outside: Special Disability Art Lesson. (Help-out)

Interact club: All committees outing (at east coast)
Normal Help out (Mostly on sat)

Sch:
- SC Camp
-Blood Donation Drive
-National Day performance (Hip-hop Dance)
-Teachers' DAy performance (dance -com)
-Green Day at woodlands Hardcourt.
-Health Community at woodland CC
-Civil Defence awareness day at woodland CC.

Gakkai:
-0707 anniversary (dance grp)
-40th leadership kenshuu helpout (logistic)
-SD concert *your future is your's to change* (aud)
-Weekly activities
-District Leader studies 2007.

=EOY cosplay=
Dec 12 - hitsugaya from (bleach 2007.)

wow~~lookin at my tis yr activities... i didn't knw hv can hv such powerful commitment. Ok. Just for 2007 only. More to come. Haha...^^ Anywae, i also meet up with kiriko. Having fun chating with her n she gave me a bottle plant for hp 2 me. Hhaa... so swt of her. Than i treated her with coro-chan.

+++++++++++An encouragement++++++++(to myself n de pips out there!! ^^)
Whenever you see a successful ventures, someone onces made a courage decision. Remember... NO GUTS , NO GLORY!!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Thruly appreciated those who r there for me when i am down. Especially my friends, sock yee n members.

Never forget what's in my heart. GoHonzon. Thanks..^^

Missing my bed n pillow nw..hehee.... So i shall stop here 4 de moment.

Feeling kinda..weak..

2007-10-23T20:26:00.000+08:00

Hey pips, juz gt a job at. Kinda not look up 2 when i knw more abt de policy stuff. Wateva.. Once i earn back my 1st bank money.. i told myself i gonna MIA.

Anywae, i am having slight fever nw.. Kinda weak. But I am still back here to communicate with u guys. How i wish there's a teddybear 4 me 2 hug. Arghh... i m so unwell nw... AHHhHhHh choOooO~~ ok..-.-

Well, I am having quite a tight schedule recently. 2day ended sch at 12pm, 3pm- SWB n P&C meeting and Japanese language class, 4pm ---oath taking, 5pm---SWB meeting. Yea. Previous 2 daes busy on company stuff n soon fell sicked.

I shall end here.. hai... watever. -.-

===My MOST impt wishes==
Great health wisdom , gd fortune , n courage for me n my family 2 face n prevent from daily life obstical. ^^

UPDATES 2!!

2007-10-20T15:48:00.000+08:00

Ok. I shall do a summaries the previous few days entries.

17 oct- Went to ICA with priscillar they all for second round of Gosho studies. Yep. Haha.. Same topic. But tis time round can absord better. Ended around 9.45pm? Yep. Get to knw de new IIC. HAha....She looks so cute.

18 oct- ...... i forgotten wat i did. Pai sei. HAhaa...

19oct- Busy with school work, SC, Gakkai events(previous days). Yep. Yesterday handed in $30 for interact camp fund. Kinda broke now. But never mind. hahaha... Will Accumulate more good fortune during jobless time..Anywae, i signed up for INTERNATIONAL GLOBAL WARMING EXCHANGE TO THAILAND. Yep 2.4 weeks to thailand . I hoped i can get in. Hahhaa...

Sc-- WOHOO.. hoho. i was so tired after de oaf taking. But suddenly felt enERGize when i found out there's ps1 in sc room. Hehe.... So excited. Went ahead 2 challeged wei long in Capcom game. Than hor... de game Dun LOAD!! -.-' de console dun wanna let me play. Dan i change 2 driving game... went ahead n challeged wen qiang Hehe... I lost 2 rounds to him cause i drift 2 much. They all keep laughing at me...especially keith.

Went out with francis in de evening. He treated me with swensens. Saw yoke hiang there also. Hehe...we keep ka jiao-ing her. WOHOO~~For de orders, we ordered, SOD, breaded fish, Baked salmon and mushroom rice, root berr float n minty float n 1 topless 5. Arghhhh~~ kinda full.
At nite, we met up tuan hok n jia ming 2 hv some supper. Ordered 5 bowls of rice, 1 ma po tofu, 1 gu lok yok n 1 ka kong. Lol.... so much. Anywae... we had nothing 2 do n we decided.....
We walk from toa payoh to BIshan(park)-.-" , Bishan park to Ang mo kio. Whole thingy Ended at 12.20am. And we planned to take bus home. But too bad, no more last bus. So? We walked from AMK to bishan, and bishan to braddell. I tink Is more than 2.4km. HoHo~~~

Never go n work yesterday due to family problems. Maureen took our my shift.She asked me whether i m ok. But thruthly speaking... i m not ok. Thanks her deeply.

20 oct- Today... kinda sad. Family problems..Anywae, claire helped me find a telemarkter job. whether I am in or anot. I still Thanks her deeply.

--WISHES--
- Chant for every1's happiness ( Especially me and my dad.)
- Peace in my family.
- Great health n GOOD fortune
- ENshire GOHONZON ASAP to hv a extrodinary breakthrough in my life.

*********************
Upcoming Event: CHingay 2008
*********************

========Sensei GUIdance=======
To take initiative to go where the circumstances are most difficult, to be first to take on the most arduous tasks. Those who live with a dedicated commitment to faith, to kosen-rufu and to their own self-realization are true CHAMPIOns in life.

Conclusion: Never give up in life even when there's obsticals. They r there for us to grow. Show gratitude n faith in life..Treasure everything around u shall c lights in ur life. ^^

~Yesterday Daimokokai~

2007-10-16T11:18:00.000+08:00

Yesterday daimoko kai was great!! Enjoyed myself bery much. Meet up with vyvern together 1st for a slight dinner at mac. Great to hear her sharing. She teaches me alot .
After that went to tbsc around 7.30pm. When i 1st step in, i was like "woW~" There's lotsa people coming in there. Anywae, yesterdae was my 1st daimoku kai there. Priscillar also told me that syc also have. haha.. but i go tbsc 1.

Than vyvern planned to have n overseas trip with 10+ pple to do kosen-rufu at philphines there. Including me .. Wohoo~~Around next year i tink. So gonna save money nw.. in any case. I also hope tt i can hv de chance to hv Gosho study at Japan.

Yep. So i gonna share with u what's inconspicious benefits and conspicious benefits. Conspicious benefits means clear benefits shown by action. EG: chanting. Inconspicious benefits are action tt are not shown. Nt saying tt inconspicious benefits r nt impt. Both are important. Remember this.

Encouragement : "With the faith in Gohonzon, we can manifest our wisdom." -i truthly agreed.

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(Reopening of sch- new sem)

Well, actually nothing much about new sem. The teacher gave us a bery nice "jian mian li"(present). Tt's PROJECT.
Dotz... received such a present for new sem, i felt kinda excited and boring at de same time. Hahah.. De txtbk for de new sub was like so so so thick. Hai.... nvm.But it seems interesting to me though. Gonna save money for my SC uniform lor.
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(Later)

Gonna go to senja later for district leader study( gosho) for OCTOBER. hehe.. kinda excited. Yep. [Topic: Life and Death.] Looking forward. Going with my leader and another YWD. Going there early to see my butsudan also. ^^
So? I shall end here... HoHOOO~~

Updates!! NEWS-Cope of my news n JOB CON-ers.!!

2007-10-14T16:53:00.000+08:00

Today was a usual morning for me. I was actually preparing for de gongyo at tamp HQ (ICA) today. Well, but de unusual part is.. i pluck out my courage to actually ask my mum to join in de gongyo. Hahaa... she actually agreed to tag along. I didn expect tt my bro came along 2. I m bery touched 2day. As Mr President Ikeda once said b4 " No prayers shall go unanswered. " Indeed! As long as our faith and sincerity is there, it makes wonders. No miracles. But hardwork and also... never underestimate de work of de MYSTIC LAW. Happi tt my mum n bro finally visit our kaikan. ^^

Went 2 de bookstore at ICA. De most impt when i go there is 2 take a look at my future butsudan. HAhaa... So excited. I told sock yee tt i will aim at de 11 november 2007 , de conferment of enshine GONHONZON. My mum says tt de butsudan could b as big as possible. Haha.. I m chanting for tt 2. Anywae, my leader also ask me whether i am interested to b a leader anot. Definitely.... I will not reject. By tis, i can contribute more 2 de kosen-rufu. Than met vyvern at de resting room. She juz came back from Japan and philiphines. She also bought some Gakkai items from there for me. So sweet of her. ^^ Also hv free reading materials from sock yee, vyvern etc... i felt fortunated.

===============+LATEST JOB CON+==============
Ok. Summary: I found a part time dental job at AMK tis Thur. I was informed to work tis upcoming mon which is 15 oct 2007. Report to work at 6.30pm. It means i m hired rite? Guess what? I was informed 2day tt they had hired a exprience nurse to try out. They(doctor) said, if she can't cope, they(doc) will have to ask me back again. And also.. I waited for 5 hrs for tis interview.

Bottom line : Never Get cheated like me. When "Employers" ask u to wait for hours for an interview, guys.. 4 get it. They juz playing with u.

+All i can say.. they r "Professional" con-ers.
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Perphaps it's a blessing in disguise tt i can find a better job. HAhhaa. tt's what sock yee told me. Yep. I Thruly agreed. I can come out for more Gakkai actitivites lor. HoHo...^^

Anywae.. as wat Brother bear... wei long said " Got time 2 plae yu-gi-oh with him" -.- ok~ i treat it as a short break for myself lor. But have to find a job asap or else no 1 feed me. >.<

Will Chant more n more nw... haha...

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Prayers : - Great health 2 Mr, MRs Ikeda.
- Chant for great wisdom n good fortune for my new sem for more great results.
- Great Health 2 me, family n friends
- Winning de human revolution.
- Chant for my Gonhonzon.
- Find a job asap.

Emo-ness

2007-10-12T11:12:00.000+08:00

We gt de word sadness, happiness... but i dun really knw whether there's a word " Emo-ness" in our dict. Well, tt word describe me de best nw... Kinda emo . I handed in my resignation form on 10/10/2007. Wat a gd date... Calculated de days i work in GreAt WOrLD.. It's already 10months + . 101010 again. Hahaaa... wat a perfect number. In numerlogy, 9 is de most perfect number. However, 10 is de final recycle whereby it links back 2 1 again. A new start tt is. Kinda surprise when i refreshed my memory.

I still gonna work for another 2 more weeks. Yep. 2 weeks notice before i final resignation approved.

Tinking of it.... de pple i used 2 work with... kelvin, april, zheng wen, alvin(boss)... kinda miss them. So, when i left..kelvin will b de last bery senior person 2 stay...

A change is necessary while fools choose to remain. TT's my theory. I used to get my motivation from boss, de bar i always wanted to get in.. but it's useless nw.

Anywae.. i m chanting for my great success in everything i do as well as my friends n family members.

Final note : FAITH, THRUst AND SincERe shall proven our success. NEVER Give up IN evrything wE do . DO goOd to othERs n urSelf.. :p

Happenings~~

2007-10-07T20:05:00.000+08:00

Today the sc members went to woodlands and help-out in the HEALTH COMMUNITY UP_NORTH event. I woke up at 5am? Yep, i guess so. Tired but excited. It was indeed fun and meaningful . Get to help-out in the game store and interact with the elderly and the children. Get to team up with hidahya they all...

Eto... the game stall which me n nadia is taking care of is a intergrading ball game. Game rules?? Just aim at the standing bottle on the table by using a racket and a soft ball to hit. Well, main purpose is to get every1 a hands-on experience. Design for elders n children. Whether they win or lose, they still get a sticker from us. Collect a min. of 5 stickers and they can exchange for a gift. I enjoyed such activity very much.

Than it was raining heavily after the event had ended. Went home and waiting for my dialogue to get started..

Well, 2day dialogue didn turn out well. My mum is unhappy 2day. The leaders didn even get a chance to talk to her. She just went out of the house before they came. O..well...

I didn angry with her. It's more gratitude than angry. This shows that i will treasure gohonzon more and tis strengthens my faith towards gohonzon even futher. ^^

Than... my com started to change its screen colour. A sign of aging? Hmmm..

Nationwide Meeting. SD

2007-10-06T20:41:00.000+08:00

Today nationwide meeting for SD was a really great reachout 2 every1. I benefited alot from all de testimonals made by various CICs. I wanted 2 b a future IC 2. Wanna contribute 2 gakkai n kosenrufu 2. ^^

Tomorrow hv a very important dialogue with my leader. My leader, 2 YWD n 1 WD member is coming my house 2 hv a talk with my mum. HoHo.. so excited. Nw chanting hard tt i can receive my gohonzon ASAP. But quite sad when my mum keep finding excuses.

My prayer for today : - World peace
- Best health for Mr, Mrs Ikeda
- Best health 2 me, my family, friends and every1.
- Great results for next sem.
- And of course, my mum could hv a great dialogue with them . ^^

Wohoo~~ UpDATed!!

2007-10-05T23:07:00.000+08:00

My First new blogging again. A new start 2 everything.

Good news: - Get elected into student councillor.
- Got a GPA of 3.313 for my 1st sem exam.
- Knew lotsa friends.
- get in touch n Know more about nichiren buddism. Knowing of de bodisatva of de earth.
- Get to work and at de same time, manage with my religion, help-out n fun 2~ ^^

Bad news? dun hv. hahaa...

Really bery happi tt i got a 3.313 GPA for mine result. It's really hardwork 2 mark miracles happens. Surprisingly, i chanted very hard before i sat 4 de paper and de questions turn out 2 b those tt i had studied b4!! ^^ really thx 2 gohonzon. Thx for de wisdom and good fortune tt it had given 2 me. Already inform those whom i knw. HAha... my boss even gave me a treat!! Pizza hut!! I was really bery fortunate. :p

REcently busy with work and SD event. Firstly need 2 congrates 2 all those who r goin for de SD nationwide meeting(those who promote) tml . Maureen n precillar r promoted 2 CIC. Congrates 2 them(if they happen 2 c tis~) haha.. It's all about de contribution to kosenrufu in Gakkai activties.

Last sunday(23/9/07) was de SD (your future is yours 2 change) event. It was really bery happening. A showcase of performance r put up by individual institutions. Excitment n fun was there. Really enjoyed it bery much.

30/9/07 was de whampo district meeting. I got to know about [GRAttitude N Happiness]. There was 1 sentence tt awake my mind. " Those who r short temper tend to blame or complaint because they didn't show any grattitude in his/her life. And thus lead 2 unhappiness in life." This really left me in deep thoughts. I was used 2 b such a immature person. But thx 2 de teachings, i get 2 open up my mind and b more acceptance 2 all things/obsticals tt i face. . .

Well well, than recently get hook with yu-gi-oh cards again. Hahaha. Thx 2 weilong lor. ^^ hehe.. 4/10/07(ysterday) went 2 weilong house with haiqal 2 plae yu-gi-oh n pokemon. but ended up playing yugioh only. After tt, we proceed 2 ps2!! Omy god!! I love his game album man.... Shooo~~

Wishes for nw~~ Saving money nw~~ Get a better results for 2nd sem. ^^

Chanting for more wisdom, health n gd fortune nw~~ wohhooo~~